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CPS Report Unfounded- So BM and SS16 Can Stuff It! (Part One)

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I'm going to make this post a two-parter because it's long.

Well, we finally got written confirmation yesterday that the CPS investigation against DH and I, initiated by BM and SSociopath16, is unfounded. We knew it would be, obviously, but it's nice to have it confirmed. It only took five months, for crying out loud. Not that that surprised me either.

I'm sure BM is sorely disappointed. No doubt she was counting on this little escapade destroying our lives and setting her up as MOTY. But alas. In the ideal world, charges would be pressed against her for making a false report as well as for the emotional abuse she's been inflicting on her kids all these years. But as we are all sadly aware, this is not the ideal world and Karma does what she pleases. BM wanted to be able to tell SS that we are horrible, awful people who abused him, and she's her savior. Ah well. She will anyway, unfounded report or no. That's how the troll rolls.

But here's what went down. A woman came to the door shortly after I got home from work a week before Thanksgiving. She had a letter stating that DH and I were the subjects of an abuse investigation. Okay. I called DH at work to let him know what had happened. Right after I called, he got a text from BM alerting him that SS would NOT be returning to our house and would NOT be subjected to the horrible abuse any longer, and he would be at the YMCA waiting to be picked up by her. Okay.

After work, DH stopped home, grabbed SS's clothes that he wore to our house from BM's, grabbed his cat piss smelling backpack from BM's, and went to the Y. SSociopath was not expecting him. DH had him change into "BM's" clothes and give "ours" back. He had him take his books out of the backpack we had bought and into the stinky one. Then he asked SSociopath to explain what was going on. SS refused to speak, other than to say, robotically, "I fear for my health and safety at your house." WTF?? So DH said, "Okay then. If you really fear for your health and safety, you won't be coming back to our house. If you want to lie and make false abuse allegations against us, you probably shouldn't contact us. From now on, expect to be at your mom's full time. Oh, and you'll have to change schools. I'm very disappointed in you, SS. Ghost and I have been nothing but good to you, and you know it. And this is how you treat us. You've got some thinking to do." and he took the stuff we had purchased and left.

No sooner had he started pulling out of the parking lot than SS came running after the car. DH stopped the car and rolled down the window. "I need something out of my backpack," SS said, obviously panicked. DH reminded him he'd emptied the backpack. SS started crying and becoming more panicked. "It's something I NEED for SCHOOL!! I NEED it, Dad! I NEED it!! Just let me HAVE it!" DH searched the backpack, and tucked into an inside pocket was a cell phone we had never seen before. DH asked for an explanation, as SS was not allowed electronics as he was grounded from them. He was not allowed to have them at school anyway because he's gotten in trouble for using them during class several times. DH said he wasn't turning the phone over until SS explained. So SS explained that BM had given him the phone and expected him to call her with an "update" every night. SS would do this quietly after he went to bed, even thought he knew he was allowed to use DH's cell phone to call BM any time he wanted to. He would call BM and ask her to come to the school every morning and drop off money for lunch. (We made him bring a lunch since he had been caught stealing from the cafeteria. He'd throw the bag lunch away and buy lunch and a shit ton of snacks with the money BM gave him). Apparently, he and BM used this phone to plan the story they'd give to CPS. DH was floored. He looked at SS, kept the phone, and drove away. SS chased the car, screaming and sobbing, because he knew he'd be in trouble with BM if he didn't produce the phone when she picked him up. Too bad.

Upon arriving home, Dh went through the phone. There were almost 200 calls to or from BM over a 10-day period, all after 9 pm, some in the middle of the night. There was the infamous text to his friend that said something to the effect of "I'll be with my mom full time soon, so I'll be able to come over whenever I want. It goes down today. Just wait and see what I'm gonna do!" DH took a photo of the text with his phone. (We showed the text to the CPS worker, and she took it into account in her report.) BM texted DH within the hour, demanding that the phone be returned as it was her property. On the advice of a family member who's a police officer, we left the phone in our mailbox at the end of the drive and told her she could pick it up.

That's the last time we saw SSociopath. That's probably the last time we ever WILL see him, unless he gets away from BM once he's an adult and realizes what she's been doing to him. But we doubt that will ever happen. The older he gets, the worse the PAS becomes. We thought things would get better as he got older, but that hasn't been the case. Time will tell.

Comments

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I do feel bad for SS. I feel bad for both of those kids. Their mother has damaged them them both beyond repair, but there's nothing we can do about it. I don't care if I never see SS16 again, but I still feel bad for him. I feel bad for DH too. I hope they can repair their relationship at some point in the future,

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I hope so too, Lady. I really do, but I'm not holding my breath. The older he gets, the farther he crawls up BM's butt. He's so mentally crippled he can't think for himself. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this too. It really sucks.

Sports Fan's picture

Congrats Ghost. Even though you knew there was nothing to find, it is still a relief to know CPS found nothing.

Your DH handled SS awesomely. I know he probably is sad at the loss of SS now but it will get better as time goes on. There really is no way to win against a BM like yours.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Thanks, Sports Fan. I'm really proud of DH. He knows his kid is a lost cause at this point. I know he has his moments, of course, but our home is SO much more peaceful without SS in it. He feels it. And you're right- there's no winning against a BM like that. It's so true.

another step's picture

Very happy for you!!! From reading everything that you had to say, I was pretty sure that it would come out as unfounded. But sadly I have seen cases where the system has failed and innocent people have been inexplicably branded with a "founded" report that seriously harmed their lives and careers. CPS reports make my blood run cold. I am genuinely relieved for you.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Yup. As a social worker, I see the system fail people every damn day. CPS failed my own BS, when there was abuse going on in his father's home. They did nothing. I have zero faith in CPS. I don't trust them to do the right thing. The wrong people have their lives destroyed too many times, while the abusers keep on abusing.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I don't care if I ever see him again, to be honest. I hope he and DH can have a relationship at some point in the future, for DH's sake, but count me out. I have no place in my life for people who treat me like shit and have no remorse.

another step's picture

Agreed, JayRay. He has gotten a taste of power. If BM had a shred of sense she would realize that he could just as easily put HER through the same wringer and she may not be as fortunate as Ghost!

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Yup! Although I doubt he'd ever file a report against her. He's terrified of her. Oh well. he chose to be full time with the parent who terrifies him. They can have each other!

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I'd LOVE to burn that mattress, but I think it would do something really bad to the ozone layer. Blum 3

I couldn't do that to my poor neighbors! Maybe we'll drop it off on his doorstep....

hereiam's picture

I really hate that bitch of a BM.

It's so sad for your DH and his son.

I am glad that it worked out as far as CPS goes but it still sucks that it happened at all.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I try not to hate people. I try not to use the word "hate." But I gotta tell you...I hate this "woman." The lives she's destroyed...SS16, Faux, DH, DH's family, my family (who loved the skids)....I just have to think that her day of atonement will come. Eventually.

hereiam's picture

I hear ya, hate is a strong word and I don't use it often, either, but when someone is so willing to destroy people's lives, including their own children's, I can justify it.

Unfreakingreal's picture

I will never understand how a MOTHER can do this to her own child. What does a mother have to gain by alienating her child from their dad? What possible pleasure does a human being get from causing HURT on others? I will never fucking get it. Your DH deserves a happy ending. If that happy ending comes from just peace within your walls, without SS, who I fully believe to be a PARTIAL victim in this whole mess, than so be it. Travel, enjoy each other. Let BM reap what she sowed, because BELIEVE ME, it WILL come back to her TEN FOLD.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

It's all about her. She MUST "win," whatever that means. She MUST continue to stick it to DH. She KNOWS drop down inside that she's a horrible person, so she has to make everyone think she's MOTY to make herself feel better. I can not imagine alienating my son from his father, as mush as I hated my ex. My son really doesn't have much to do with his father now that he's an adult, but I let him come to his own conclusions and make his own decisions. This woman is pure evil.

Yes, she "won." She won permanent custody of two fucked-up, mentally ill individuals with no social skills and no independent thoughts and feelings, that she will support for the rest of her life. Exactly what she wants. She crippled her children to serve her own selfish needs. Congrats. Hope she has fun with that

ChiefGrownup's picture

Holy mother of all step stories. What you have been through, ghost! Oh, my! That boy is lost for sure. Yes, BM should be charged with something.

And I must say I'm standing and applauding your dh. I absolutely love his every action from the moment you called him. Standing o, Mr. Ghost.