OT: Update - surprise party
Friend's buttwipe boyfriend is less of a buttwipe today. He contacted me when he learned my friend and I were kayaking after work on Friday. He said he has asked her to go out for a drink with him, but that won't work if she's kayaking with me. He asked if I could please cancel kayaking that day so she wouldn't have time to get other people to kayak with her. That way, he can take her for a drink, and then to the surprise party.
I responded that I WOULD be willing to cancel, and shared with him what she said about not wanting ANY recognition of her birthday, deferring to him since he knows her better than I do. But also remarking how I was pleased to cancel kayaking because she would never forgive me if she walked into a party wearing her post-kayaking clothes.
He's still 75% a buttwipe in my book, but I knocked off about 15% because he took the time to make sure she would not look like a drowned rat after kayaking.
NOW, if she's mad, she'll be mad at all her friends equally - not just me.