OT: Surprise party
I need some advice.
I have a sweet friend who turns 60 this coming weekend. Her sometimes a-hole boyfriend (who has shown a very selfish and, sometimes, mean streak) has decided to throw her a surprise party.
My sweet friend is VERY insecure despite being a cute, outdoorsy looking lady. She always calls her self fat, old and wrinkly, but she's dead cute - very attractive. Apparently, this birthday is messing with her head, big time. I can't even take pictures of us out without her approving them before I share them because of her insecurity.
She shares a birthday with DD25, so I remember it clearly. I asked if we could go for a drink on Friday to toast her day. She confided that she's having a REALLY tough time and doesn't want to acknowledge it in ANY WAY.
The boyfriend with the mean streak (background info: friend is separated from her alcoholic husband who lives across the country and BF still lives with his wife although they have an "understanding." He has had women on the side the whole marriage, but has remained discreet for his wife's sake) is not really the kind of person to put a lot of effort into something like this and I have a gut feeling he knows she's struggling and might be planning to get her out of the house without being dolled up and feeling presentable only to surprise her with a party.
My gut tells me to warn her, but that could backfire on me if she wigs out and tells the BF that she found out and he is NOT to throw the party. Alternately, I don't feel right going to this party and being part of something she doesn't want.
And no, I don't think she's faking this and really wants the attention. I think she's 100% sincere that she doesn't even want her birthday mentioned.
What would you?