futurestepmomnowstepgf's Blog
Am actually looking for some advice - sorry it is a bit long
So today is September 1, which means it is the day we give SD back to BM. According to a conversation this past weekend BM is moving in December/January, but we are not believing any of it until we get the minimum 30 day before move notice in the mail. This is the 3rd time she has given timeline of her moving and clearly both times it did not happen. BM said if they have not moved before the spring break of the current county she lives in (March 2021) she will honor those dates, if not we will get the spring break of the new town she lives in.
I don’t even know
So today bf sent BM a message informing her of drop off time on September 1, letting her know SD is due for several shots and physical, as well as confirming dates of spring break. In the agreement for September 1, there is no time specified, bf has been unable to make an appointment for SD as the doctor is claiming no availability prior to September 1, and we wanted to address spring break.
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O/T – Vent & Appreciation Post of the Last Year
I am not sitting here writing this to get sympathy or make anyone feel sorry for me. I just felt the need to vent about something that is for the most part not step related. Now I know 2020 has been hard for everyone, there is not one person in this whole globe that is not affected in a direct or indirect way. For me, my hard year started in August 2019 and for the most part has been nothing but basically a shit storm since then.
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Update to deleted blog about BM's phone calls
So a particular user on here messaged me after I deleted my last blog regarding phone calls with BM. That was really helpful on allowing me to gather my thoughts on the subject and come up with a solution that benefitted everyone. So what bf and I are going to do is purchase a burner phone, the cheapest available and on the time we have SD we will purchase the cheapest unlimited minutes plan to basically act as a house phone on our time with SD. It will stay at home, but will be on always, ringer off after SD goes to bed and ringer back on when SD wakes up.
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OT - What to write in card after a suicide a year ago
I am back for just some advice unrelated to step life. My cousin committed sucide a year ago and she was 17. I am sending a thinking of you card to my uncle and aunt and I have not a clue what to write in it. Anyone have any ideas? My parents are moving my sister into college today and I really don't want to have them thinking about today (it was a year ago today) when trying to help my sister/keep her mind off of it. I am sending it today, so it will be late unfortunately. The first time I tried to buy the card I got really upset and walked out of the store.
Honestly gets a little tiring being told such advice then later told to throw the book out the window
Now I know many many of you disagree with what ended up being the custody agreement for SD. How bf agreed to have SD for only every spring break, 6 weeks every summer, and every other Christmas, for the agreement that bf can move out of state and in turn, allows BM to move out of state. I know many many of you disagreed with the fact that bf stuck to the CO for this summer and other than one 24 hour period, did not offer BM to see SD during bf's time when she did not move like she claimed and she had put in the CO.
Hoping the quiet remains
So SD’s visit with BM on Friday/Saturday happened without any drama. BM did not message when she arrived at our apartment complex, but bf and SD were already downstairs and outside awaiting beforehand. BM messaged on Saturday saying she was leaving her place to bring SD back and that she washed the clothes we sent her in and was sending her back in them. Which was very surprising because back when we sent SD in our clothes or shoes, we never got them back.
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SD is seeing BM for the first time today since June 1
Part of me is pretty excited because it will be the first time bf and I have been alone for more than an hour or two while SD is still at day care since June 1. Our 2 year anniversary was yesterday and we had purposely planned to let BM have SD from 4 pm today until 4 pm tomorrow so we can celebrate our anniversary together. We will be going out for dinner and doing an escape room which neither of us had done before and since COVID is going on, looks like where normally we would have 4 strangers in our group, so far it is just us two and no walk ins allowed so that is super awesome.
Call me heartless
but it is so frustrating that BM has STILL been benefiting off of my bf in regards to health insurance and dental when they have been officially divorced for over 2 months now. You may wonder how this could be and I will tell how you how. It is because the marine corps is very unorganized. Days after receiving the final divorce decree, bf went online and uploaded all the documents he needed for the marine corps to change his status to divorced from BM, take her off the health insurance and the dental, etc. but guess what, as of today she still has these benefits.
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So I accidentally stumbled across a ring and now I feel bad
So this morning, I was putting bf's clothes away in his dresser and his way of organizing clothes makes no sense to me so I went to fold his shirts in the drawer better and I saw a jewelry box. I should not of opened it, but I did because the box looked kind of older so I was like hmmm.... and I opened it and in there is an engagement ring that is definitely older, and nothing like the style of ring of what he has talked about liking and that we said we liked. So I put the box back and the clothes the way I found it because obviously it is not something I should be looking at.