Will BM agree or make us go to trial?
That is the big question. Just so happens BM's attorney was in my bf's lawyer's office on another matter so yesterday he was able to hand deliver the settlement offer to BM's attorney and it asks for it to be reviewed with client prior to pre trial (December 12), etc. So the agreement laid out the every other week schedule we are proposing, alternating holidays, 50/50 legal for bf's daughter, no spousal support, no child support at this time (50/50 physical custody is why), bf's daughter to remain on bf's insurace dental and medical, medical expenses to be split 50/50, alternating tax years, communication to be through the co parenting app, child care expenses to be the parent's responsibility when on their time, when bf gets out and moves - bf to have summer break, xmas break, and spring break. Also, BM's older child is mentioned saying physical and legal is sole to mother, visitation to be with *bf's name* as the parties can agree.
As some people commented on my last blog, the mention of the older child, those terms apply whether written in or not written in, as bf has no rights to child. However, since a judge cannot write a court order mentioning older child at all because bf has no rights, that BM might go for it because that is the best she will get in that regard. I really don't like the child mentioned at all in it because as others have said BM can show it to child later or bf's child and say bf didn't want her, etc. Bf and attorney really think it is a good idea though because BM might go for it since she is at least mentioned, but there's no legal obligation or anything as bf has no rights to her so really BM cannot do anything about it, bf isn't accountable for anything, etc. So bf made some promises to me because I really don't like it in there and I compromised to let it be in there.
Bf thinks chances of her agreeing are 60/40, I think it is 50/50. Reasons we think she might agree: she will not get a faulted divorce (she really doesn't want that), BM got what she wanted about having child during school year which she wanted, at least mentions older child, it is really 50/50 and just holds each parent responsible for their own shit on their time, BM mentioned getting an agreement written up instead of going to trial, etc.
Reasons we think she might not agree: last week she said she doesn't want to split the children up more than she has to, not getting child support or spousal support, disagrees with the holiday/break schedule when he moves, does not set up an actual visitation schedule with older child, and lastly, her attorney might tell her to go to trial because she can do better going to trial than what bf is offering.
We are prepared to offer the 2/2/3 schedule if she doesn't like the every other week, to alternate thanksgiving and christmas break when we move, etc. Basically if she turns it down, the adjustments we are willing to make are in regards to the schedule, but we will not offer anything less than 50/50 for while we live here, will not offer spousal support, or adding anything more regarding her older child. HOPEFULLY we at least get a response before pre trial, but I am really not counting on it at all. At least if it makes it to pre trial, bf's attorney will ask for the default judgement from the judge so we at least have an idea of where he stands to see if there is any other changes we would be willing to make. Personally, we think it is fair, but BM is selfish and entitled so I gurantee she will not think it is fair at all.
What is your bet on BM's stance to the settlement offer?