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Vacation? But will it really be

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

So it is less than a week till bf and I are to be going on vacation? I put a question mark because we are waiting on the last and highest ranking man in bf’s command to sign off on whether or not we can travel states away back to bf’s hometown. Due to COVID-19, we did not get to take our trip we had been planning in August to visit his dad back home, but now the marine corps has loosened restrictions some so we wanted to go see him while we could, but it could take until Friday to have the papers either signed or denied. Sigh. So frustrating. I already booked our pet care for our cat and dog, but other than that I have not packed a single thing, we have not even told his dad because in August we had to let him down and not come like we had been saying for months, and I took off time from work, but my boss understands there is a possibility I might not be going.


So there are many kickers to this trip if we get to go:


  1. This is the first time I am meeting bf’s dad or any of his family (bf does not have a relationship with his mother for years, he has 3 half siblings no full siblings, his sister is a lot older and growing up they have not had much of a relationship, his one brother is extremely enmeshed with their mother and has screwed over bf’s dad (brother’s step dad) in horrible ways so they don’t have a relationship anymore, but hardly had one growing up anyway, and the other brother he likes the most has made really bad decisions in his life so they have a distant relationship). So I am definitely meeting his dad and probably sister because she has been the one taking care of bf’s dad during all his health issues the last 2 years. Both the dad and sister have added me on FB the last few months and been very sweet, but not like overly reaching out or anything, just enough that it is deemed nice, but not fake or whatever (wishing me a happy birthday, liking posts, asking for a recipe of food I posted, that sort of thing). There is a chance I would meet both brothers, but the one bf prefers not to see and we sure as hell better not see bf’s mom because that would really not be good. Bf does not come from a healthy family if you haven’t gathered by my brief description.
  2. During our phone call with SD we learned that SD is back home right now with BM and sister, in the home state they both come from. On one hand, it is tempting to ask BM if we could have SD for a few hours so she could see her grandpa, especially when we had tried to go in August specifically for that reason. However, on our vacation? Do we really want to deal with custody drama? Also, if BM says no, then are BM’s little spies going to be around being nosey about bf and I? I don’t know specifically how far BM’s parents live vs. bf’s dad, but I know it is close enough that there is a possibility we could run into her based on our conversation after talking to SD. I didn’t want to know more than it being a possibility because then it’ll be on my mind or whatever and really I just don’t want to know.


Okay so I guess really two main kickers, but there is possibility for some drama which we both rather avoid as much as possible. So crossing my fingers we get to go and that there is no drama.


shamds's picture

They spy on everything and everyone and report everything to bio mum.... there is no privacy or respect of my and hubby's private space as husband and wife. We had sd23 banging on our bedroom door 7am like a friggin banshee because she wanted to get a bag of sugar to give to her aunt who didn't even need it. me and hubby were having sex at the time and hubby left me to go to the car so sd could get the bag of sugar.

that was the emergency that couldn't wait 20-30 mins for hubby to have quiet time with me... so anytime hubby feels guilty and become disney dad/guilty dad and suggests and asks if sd's can come because sob sob they claim hubby abandoned them when they have abandoned hubby, i simply ask hubby if he ever wants to have sex with me again??

that shuts him up quick!! 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

4 so I don't have to worry about any of that. I am not worried SD will spy on us, but BM and bf grew up in the area we are going so if we ask BM to have SD for a few hours and BM says no, I can just see her telling her friends we are in town and being nosey and not even get SD. I mean BM could see us or one of her friends could see us anyway, but I don't want to purposely let her know we are in town to not even get time with SD to see her grandpa.

I would be feeling the same way though if my SD ever did that when she gets older!