Update to everything
Thank you all of you who read and commented on my last blog post regarding court. So apparently proving adultery in court is not as easy as you would think in a fault based state. For the BM to prove I exist she would need video proof, images, or a witness to us doing something sexual, etc. Just having even texts, calls, etc. between us would not be enough to say my bf has committed adultery. On the other hand, having the genetic blood test done, once the results reveal the oldest child (4) is not my boyfriend's, it proves the BM committed adultery. BM is going to then say it was rape, but without any report, any proof, etc. it most likely is going to be thrown out since other than her word, 4 years later, there's nothing to prove/point to it being rape. So that evidence in itself will be enough to get a fault based divorce granted. The advantages are the judge can't order my bf to pay anymore spousal support, the divorce will be wrapped up and done rather quickly because it is proven BM is at fault, according to my bf's lawyer since it looks bad on BM, it is likely a judge will favor what my bf wants in regards to his bio child (not sure how accurate it is, just telling you all what I know).
As for BM taking the child away from him, it is because it is all a game to her. She wants to be able to at least "win" one child to be 100% hers. On 8/23, it is 95% likely that then and there the judge is going to say my bf is not the father and is going to take his rights away from the child. While it is extremely sad and the only person it benefits is BM (not even really), my bf has accepted this is going to happen and after everything, I think it is in the best interest for everyone. BM has proven she is always going to use the older child as a bargaining chip, always going to use her as an emotional game to my bf, etc. It is not right for either my bf or the child to go through this emotional rollercoaster for BM's mistake. My bf could of had all of this wrapped up and done 1.5 years ago if he went the fault based route then, but did not want to lose the older child. Unforunately now, after thousands of dollars later, constant drama, etc. it is going to go that route anyway, but at least he knows he tried. Yes, those of you think he should of just agreed to what BM wanted as being the custodial parent so that didn't happen, but he thought she should not be their primary caregiver, not for vindictive reasons either.
The goodish news is my bf and I saw the children for the first time in 5 weeks on Sunday. From talking to BM at the court hearing, he had convinced her to let him have at least one of them for a few hours to just spend time with. He ended up asking for the younger one since he did not see her on her birthday. However, when my bf showed up to pick the child up, BM left the door open and the older child ran outside and got upset she wasn't going, so he got both to have until 6 pm. BM reminded him if he didn't return the older child it would be kidnapping since he is not the biological father. So we took them to this cool toddler water park I had found that we had planned on taking them for the child's birthday. We had a great day with them, the younger one had the best time, and then at 6 pm, my bf brought them back to her. Technically he could of kept the younger one since there is no court order, but other than start more drama and look vindictive in front of the judge, there is no benefit other than being able to see her, so he took them both back. He asked to have them on Thursday this week and she gave him a time to do so, so we shall see how that goes. Reason I said goodish news is because now it looks good BM has let him see the kids. However, at the same time you can't really fear for them as much as she has claimed if she is letting him take them.
So anyway, between now and next Friday, it is really just a waiting game. The BM and her lawyer responded to his settlement agreement, turning down his offer, their offer is her having full custody, my bf's attorney is supposed to respond to them with another offer. Later this week my bf will go see his attorney and they will decide whether they are going to request to go in front of the judge before the genetic hearing or wait to see how that goes then make their next move. Also, BM's lawyer said in his opening statement that my bf has been a "step father" to the oldest. Literally so f***ed that was said.