Twiddling my thumbs waiting
So on Monday last week, bf signed all the papers and then bf's attorney was sending them to BM's attorney for BM to sign the papers. Then after she does that bf's attorney has to do all the filing, etc. that goes along with getting it finalized and getting a divorce decree. So far my bf has not heard a peep from his attorney or BM. I'm hoping that it's a no news is good news type of situation, but we would both feel better just getting a confirmation BM did sign them and all we are waiting on is everything to be processed. In the meantime, bf picks up his daughter this Friday, we are hoping there will be no more bruises or anything on his daughter this round, but are going to have to wait and see. Also hoping BM doesn't start with this tablet nonsense or really any drama this exchange, but I am not holding my breath. I actually won't even be here at all during his daughter's visit, I will be away babysitting/dog sitting my aunt/uncle's children and dog so bf will get some one on one time with his daughter so that should be nice.
I am keeping to my word once I know BM has signed the papers I will be taking a break from this site for my own mental wellbeing. Other than probably updating you all when we receive the final divorce decree. I will also no longer look at BM's social media after that too because then at least I know there will be no trial aka no reason to look at her stuff either. It has been a year and a half of waiting for this to get over, but seems like this last step has me most on edge and like it is taking FOREVER. On a positive note, next weekend my bf and I go on our trip away for four days so that will be great! I am hoping actually the week on/week off schedule will not start until the final decree because if it starts before next weekend, we will already be having to give up my bf's time from the beginning because the new schedule would overlap our trip away where the every other weekend, it is not my bf's time at all.
Until we get the final decree I will continue to maintain a low profile, but once we receive it, I am not going to be what feels like hiding out during exchanges. Not saying I am going to be going to all exchanges or what not, but when we are out and he has to drop off his daughter, I will not be getting coffee or whatever I have been doing while he drops her off. Any words of advice on when this happens? I have zero plans to engage with BM at all, just simply won't be dropped off to be picked back up anymore while bf drops off or picks up his daughter.
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Hope it gets taken care of
Hope it gets taken care of soon. Pop back in if/when you need support around ongoing high conflict behavior from BM!
Thank you!
I am REALLY REALLY hoping that there won't be much that I need support of especially within the next few months, but I am smart enough to know it is a huge possibility.
As long as bf's daughter stops coming with injuries from BM's older child and she doesn't try to not follow the agreement, there will probably be no issues on our end. However, as we all have seen BM is not stable. Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.
Good luck! Taking a break
Good luck! Taking a break from this site is sometimes a really good thing. I love it on there and can vent away but stepping back and not thinking about all the drama is good!
As for the drop offs/pick ups- you really don't have to "do" anything other than sit in the car. You can smile and wave (nicely) but other than that, you don't have to get out, you don't have to help get SD in the car, you just kind of exist.
Enjoy your upcoming trip! You guys deserve some time away!
Thank you!
It will be a huge weight off of our shoulders once the decree is received and the new schedule starts!
That is what I was planning on doing, except probably the waving part because I have zero respect for the woman and being fake is not my MO.
Thank you! We are really looking forward to it!
Stick with getting coffee or
Stick with getting coffee or whatever, it honestly is the best course of action. You can just sit in the car or wait at the end of the driveway if you walk there, but it really will not stop a BM determined to make a scene from making a scene. You will hate the drop offs, she will get agrivated and the kids will be upset/confused. It is not worth it when you could be sittting in a warm cafe sipping on a coffee or browsing through a cute bookstore or whatever.
Hopefully all of this suspense will be over soon and you two can get on with the next part of your lives. Taking a step back from here is a good thing to do, it has helped me feel less stress in the past when I stopped visiting this site simply because reading about others situations brings back the memories and feelings. Sometimes steptalk is helpful to get support but othertimes it is just unnecessary to invite thoughts of negative things into our lives.
I know what you are saying
but it's not like a coffee shop, it is more like a convience store. She lives in an apartment complex so it is a parking lot my bf pulls up in and she brings his daughter out to his truck. While I am hoping she doesn't make a scene, I am tired of having to basically hide and go spend money and wait around for my bf to make the exchange. Which was totally my idea because I didn't want to stir the pot until the divorce was finalized. If it was something cute like what you are describing I would feel a little different about going there, but that's not even anywhere in the remote area of where BM lives.
I sure hope so! Definitely seems like a good idea!
BM here was much better
BM here was much better behaved when I was there. She didn't like showing her ass to everyone, and was generally as close to normal as she can be when I was around.
Well that is a benefit
I cannot predict how BM in my case will react to me being in the truck at exchanges, but if she tries to cause a scene, I will just ignore her. I will not allow myself to be on BM's level, I know bf would stand up for me if anything was said and it isn't necessary for me to have to engage at all.