Trying to not be too sensitive - Advice wanted
So I am pretty excited that it finally got approved especially since we leave Monday. I am looking forward to finally meeting bf's dad, but at the same time crossing my fingers that it goes smoothly. What I mean by that is bf has warned me that his dad tends to say things he shouldn't and he hopes that his dad does not bring up BM and the child he lost rights to. If anyone remembers a while back I said it frustrated me that bf's dad kept texting bf and asking about BM's older child even though bf had asked him not to and I wish he wouldn't because it was really upsetting to bf. It has been a few months since his dad brought the child up, but bf also has not seen him in person in about 3 years. Obviously, I prefer him not to bring up BM, but he also has not seen bf since the divorce got finalized, etc. so if he asks about that I totally understand. When taking the dog for our long walk yesterday, bf expressed to me that he really hopes his dad does not bring up these topics and upset me. I told him I am really just hoping his dad's house doesn't have photos of bf with BM around his house since that will be where we are staying. Bf said he doesn't think so, but he hasn't been there in years.
Now I know it is bf's dad's house so bf has no control of what photos are around the house or even what bf's dad says so I am trying to come to terms prior to the trip with these things could happen and to not be sensitive about it. Plus his dad has a B-12 deficiency which can lead to memory loss problems, which in a way is funny because I need to go back to my doctor soon to get testing to confirm whether or not I have the same issue and need a minimum of a monthly shot to get where I need to be. I also know from bf that his dad STILL brings up his first ex-wife (dad's ex wife) and bf's mom was his dad's third wife (she's also an ex-wife of his now) so to the dad these topics are just normal.
UGH just trying to put my emotions to the side ahead because there is the possibility of these things happening and just want to be prepared. Plus if anyone read my last blog, there is family drama that could happen by seeing relatives bf does not want to for good reasons and the possibility of running into BM and her family. I think what is making me a little anxious is we have been together over 2 years now so to just meet his dad after so long I just don't want bf's baggage clouding the time there. I know I chose to be with a man that has been married before and has a child etc. and I have came VERY far with the insecurities I had on being with a man who has already done those things, but I think until we get married and take some more of the more serious steps in our relationship I will still have a tiny sliver of those feelings. The other part that makes me anxious is I come from a pretty normal average family, we are very close, there are one or two outliers, but still get invited and there isn't any in your face drama, or anything like that, but bf's family is so different from mine so it will be very strange.
At least after being there Monday - Saturday morning we are going and spending 24 hours in a city I wanted to go to while there that is 3 hours away and we have reservations/tickets for those things so there is that to look forward to. I really am looking forward to finally meeting his dad and seeing where bf grew up, but it is such a small town/area that there is possibility for some drama on the trip.
Any advice or background on what they have experienced when meeting their SO’s relatives and they brought up BM and other things that you don't necessarily want to hear about/talk about. I mean it COULD go well and this be a non-issue, but as I am an overthinker I rather be prepared ahead of time than be blindsided.