You are here

Thank you for the advice and input

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I have received on my blog and forum posts that I have posted thus far! You all are great Smile I will be deleting half of the items I have posted out of worry that somehow BM will somehow magically stumble upon such posts and as my bf's situation is not typical, totally would be a slam dunk for talking about BM if she were to read them. 

For an update and for some good news is my bf got a lot of information when he met with the lawyer on Friday, for anyone that read my post regarding his 4 y/o. Apparently his lawyer who he pays several hundred an hour has been twiddling her thumbs because she thought it was in his best interest to wait until it got closer to him moving out of state to make any moves towards finalizing the divorce and the custody BUT never mentioned this to my bf (last time they talked was via phone because she moved offices and is further away now). Mind you, it will be 2 years until we move out of state and he was livid at his lawyer. The bright news is she now knows, he wants to move forward and get it over with ASAP. Days away from it offically being a year so things will be able to signed and over with. 

The lawyer and him discussed two options that will help move things faster. 1. Talk to the ex and see if they can come to an agreement so they do not have to go to trial (HIGHLY unlikely as she is highly entitled and thinks since she is the "mom" she should have them totally and completely) 2. They can finalize the divorce and work on settling the custody afterward (which is both of our preferred method, but we do not think the ex will go for it as right now she is covered under his health insurance and dental, plus is getting monthly support).... So this week he is going to talk to her about option 1 and 2, worst case scenario they will have to go to trial and will just have to push through that. 

As for the 4 y/o, it should look really good in terms of custody because even though he has known for a year that she is not biologically his, he has not been treating her any differently and has been providing for her and has had custody of both children about 80%ish for a year. So while lots more money to spend on sorting things out, I definitely feel like this is progress. Even if she does not go along with 1 or 2 at least VA is a state in which he can record their conversation and hope she says some stupid things to help at trial Smile

Anyways, feeling like some light at the end of the tunnel now.

Comments

Harry's picture

And BM “ highly entitled “. Do you really think this is going play out well for you and SO ?   When this kid reaches its teens, it’s either not going to be bother with you or will be causing he** ??

VNichol's picture

Girl you are in some craziness..... I know you can't help falling in love and who you fall in love with. It just sounds like a huge shit storm is coming. Once the benefits stop and other form of money stops or decrease, she is gonna be a B+%@#. You are by this man side though all of that...... You can put up with alot more than I. I need the man to already be divorced because that just means I can't have the life i want with this man till a divorce happens. I do not take any man serious if he has had a vacetomy or is not divorced. Bless your heart. I personally couldn't do it. 

I know blessings come unexpectedly and not as you plan. I was 32 and prayed and prayed for a family. God brought two Cowboys into my life and I would not change that for the World. DH and little man are my family I prayed for, I just embraced it and I am thankful for suck a great man. If I'm blessed with some BIOS......I'm cool with that too!!!!