Talked to Lawyer, Birth Certificate Continued
So yesterday bf was able to have a phone appointment with the lawyer he used for the divorce. It is a good news/bad news situation. So basically based on what his lawyer has, the judge only verbally told BM she needed to now change her birth certificate, etc. it was never a written up order. The hearing of this was his second lawyer's last day on bf's case so basically it slipped through the cracks that the old lawyer didn't ask for the judge to write an order for it and it was never put on the new lawyer's radar. Back during the time of this hearing that the genetic results were read in court and taking away bf's rights to the child, I told bf that he should make sure the birth certificate gets changed. Understandably, Bf was not concerned about this at the time as he was distraught about losing the child, but he honestly did not think it could come back to bite him. That is the past and we are where we are now.
So basically the lawyer advised us to write BM a letter threatening her to change the birth certificate or we will pursue legal action and ask for attorney's fees from her. Which is kind of an empty threat because the lawyer quoted us at $3,000 - $3,500 to hire him to do this. Bf's lawyer says since he was the one who filed for divorce and kept pushing the divorce, etc. that maybe BM will take the threat seriously and get scared into doing it. Even if we did hire him, the lawyer said it will be about 4-6 months after he files the paperwork until it is done. We leave in 6 months and then there is the holidays too, so realistically it probably wouldn't be done before we leave.
We asked the lawyer if there are any consequences to bf not pursuing legal action on the matter when BM was supposed to change it and the lawyer said the only thing would be health insurance fraud that he can think of. Bf said that if he gets hit with health insurance fraud, then he will take BM to court no question for the costs, etc. Another scenario would be if BM decided to try and file for child support for this child from bf then bf would just go to court with the testing results, the final divorce decree, statements/proof that he has not been in contact with/seen this child since October 2019, and message proof through the court app of BM stating she knows she needs to change the birth certificate, but has refused to do so, then that judge can make an order forcing BM's hand to do so.
It is also a bit frustrating because we technically could do all this ourselves if we could figure out what paperwork needs to be filed in court. His attorney has only done this sort of thing once before so he said if he did it a lot and knew off the top of his head what paperwork we would need to file than he would just tell us, but since he needs to research, etc. it would be him working for hours for free and understandably we can't ask him to do it, he might as well do the whole thing at that point. We might try and see what we can dig up, but it isn't super common so probably won't be able to do it ourselves.
We finally did hear back from the Marine Corps Service Project Office which asked for legal court documents outside of the genetic testing results that say he was proven in court to not be the father of the child, then they would review this and decide whether they can take her off or not. So if they take her off that would be awesome so then we don't have to worry about health care fraud anymore, but I am not holding my breath since there has really not been any good news on this topic.
So the summary of all this is we are not spending $3,000 - $3,500 to do what BM is legally supposed to be doing. Whether the judge wrote an order or not, it is still illegal, the problem is since there is no order, there would be no penalty of her not doing it yet, they would just tell her to do it. At this point we are waiting to see what the service project office decides, but either way we will be sending BM a letter stating that we are concerned about health insurance fraud, bf needs to be removed from birth certificate, need proof of him being removed, and if BM doesn't remove her then we will need to file in court, pursue legal action and will be asking for attorney's fees. Our last two attempts on trying to do anything will be to call the state's vital statics and see if they have any other information and to call the $35 a half hour line the judge's clerk recommended and see if they can tell us what paperwork needs to be filed to make this happen.
Now the question is when do you think we should send this letter? Part of me wants to immediately especially because if they can remove her from the health insurance part of the letter becomes a moot point or should we wait till after Christmas since BM's latest excuse was she doesn't have the money to spend on this right before Christmas. Anyone have any ideas?