You are here

So I accidentally stumbled across a ring and now I feel bad

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

So this morning, I was putting bf's clothes away in his dresser and his way of organizing clothes makes no sense to me so I went to fold his shirts in the drawer better and I saw a jewelry box. I should not of opened it, but I did because the box looked kind of older so I was like hmmm.... and I opened it and in there is an engagement ring that is definitely older, and nothing like the style of ring  of what he has talked about liking and that we said we liked. So I put the box back and the clothes the way I found it because obviously it is not something I should be looking at. I also looked because today seemed like the day he was going to go ring shopping based on him saying he has to run an "errand," made me promise to not look at his location, told me he would be gone a while, that he couldn't tell me what he was doing, leaving SD home with me, etc. So I didn't think anything about looking at the box because he is still at home with me and said he was going to wait to go next week because he didn't want to rush today.

Now I feel bad because since it is clearly an older ring, my mind went to what if it was BM's ring because back when we started dating I snooped and saw a photo of it on BM's FB page and it kind of looked like that. So next I looked at BM's fb page and the picture is still up there and thank goodness it is not the same ring. 

After all this I think it might be my mom's original engagement ring because my dad 15 years ago or so upgraded my mom to a really nice engagement ring and wedding band set. Only thing I remember about my mom's ring is it being gold and not white gold like it is now. I was young and did not pay too much attention to what it looked like at the time. We were just at my parent's house and I am 95% sure my bf asked my dad permission to marry me. The other reason I feel like it is my mom's ring is because the jeweler is one that is local to the state I am from and the closest of that jeweler to us is about 1.5 hours away. 

So now I feel terrible that I looked in the box, my mind jumped to conclusions, etc. and I can't really vent to anyone else about this or I would feel terrible or it might get back to bf so thanks for listening to my vent :x I really feel terrible that my mind thought for a second what if it was BM's ring, like that was not good of me at all. So now I am sitting here feeling guilty.


justmakingthebest's picture

Don't stress too much! He could be building something custom and wants to integrate the stones from your mom's ring into yours? Or maybe he is going to turn it into something else for you?

Try to forget about it! If he does use your mom's ring, it will be special too! I have my great grandmother's ring and it means the world to me! 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

special if her ring gets integrated into mine or if I get my mom's ring, just threw me for a loop this morning. I wasn't expecting to find any ring especially since I was not looking for one, then to find one that is clearly someone else's, plus feeling bad because I didn't right away know who's it was. 

I just need to clear my mind until the day he proposes. Which knowing him, I bet he will wait till SD is back with BM so he can make it just about us. So just going to keep my mind busy and not look in anymore draws until the day!

lieutenant_dad's picture

This. I'd assume he's incorporating that ring, unless there is a special meaning.

Future, finding the ring doesn't ruin the surprise. You two have talked about getting married. What you know now is that a ring exists, maybe or maybe not for you. If it is for you, you still don't know when or how he's going to do it. Even if you only discovered the box, you'd still have the same thoughts (or similar) as you do now.

Take some deep, deep breaths. In the rand scheme, this is not a big deal.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

If it was a new jewelry box, I wouldn't of opened it because I don't want to know what it looks like until he is ready to propose to me with it, but you're right I would still "know" something so looking doesn't change it or ruin what he has planned.

I am very good at worrying if you haven't noticed, so deep breaths will be taken, haha.

strugglingSM's picture

DH made the mistake of using his father's wedding ring as his own when he married BM. For a hot minute, he posed the idea of using it again for our wedding and I told him no way. He still has the ring and keeps saying that he is going to take it to a jeweler to get the initials and date from his marriage to BM removed, but he hasn't done that, yet.