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So BM signed the papers and had a melt down at pick up

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

So BM signed the papers this afternoon and my bf's attorney was going to pick them up from her attorney's office. So yes, that's a big success, now just wait the processing time and for the final divorce decree and my bf will finally be 100% divorced so happy about that

About an hour or so after the papers were signed, my bf went to pick up his daughter. Well BM started with asking if my bf will give up 5 of his 7 days for his first week of having his daughter so she could visit her sister for a week. So then she goes on saying he can have two extra days to make up for his lost time... um 2 vs. 5.... there's a big difference 

after he told her he has to think about it. She had a melt down saying how fine she won't go visit her sister then, etc. 

then she starts in about the birth certificates and says how she doesn't feel she has to do the work to get her own or pay for it. Bf tells her she has to get her older child a new birth certificate anyway and she says she knows that but has to do it through the court and the old one will work for getting her registered for school

then my favorite she goes on how much she's sacrificed and how she pays for everything now. She goes on about being put on the street (she had 30 days to vacate their base home because she got arrested on base for drugs)... she says she did nothing wrong at all that my bf should respect her and want to co parent with her. She said more but those are the key points 

then she messages my bf saying how she moved on and just wants my bf to understand where she's coming from. Also that he chose to not be "our family" and that's not on him, etc. 

Anyway, just had to give a bit of insight on the craziness of today and BM's craziness. Other than answering comments on this blog and the one before that'll be all I post for a long time and I'll be taking a break too. So thanks for all listening! 


tog redux's picture

Your BM tries all the tricks, that's for sure.  If she takes 5 days of his week, he gets 5 days of her week.  I'd give her the birth certificate for the older girl, but she can get a copy of the one for his daughter.  And she can get a duplicate social security card, so she should just get one for herself, since they have joint custody and both will need one. 

The rest: blah blah blah blah IGNORE.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

The only reason I'm hesitant about giving her the other birth certificate is because I worry she will never get it changed if we give it to her. Because I doubt she will pay for a copy or one she has to change anyway. i really want my bf's name removed like she's supposed to because I don't want later there to be any issues 

and yes we looked it up she can get a social security card duplicate so she's getting nothing of my bf's documents for his daughter. 

and he did! He didn't respond to her

thinkthrice's picture

It's going to get worse....MUCH worse.   You and BF need to make a pact to STICK TO THE CO no matter what.  When the BM starts to try and change the schedule that is the BM testing the waters to wrest control.   They all read from the same script and they want to try to control what goes on in your household from afar.  DO NOT let this happen.

simifan's picture


This made me laugh. I bet my favorite bottle of wine she'll be back next week when BM tries something else. Smile


thinkthrice's picture

Louis Jadot Beaujolais Villages

thinkthrice's picture

Biodad who takes the "high road" with a GUBM gets pushed off a steep cliff.

hereiam's picture

Co-parenting doesn't mean taking care of HER business for her, she can get her own copies of the birth certificates, and whatever else, for her children.

Just signed the papers and she's already wanting to deviate from what was agreed on. She can go see her sister when it fits with HER time with SD.

I'm glad she finally signed. Now, BF just needs to make her stick to the agreement.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Keep both original birth certificates. She has plenty of time to get another before school starts. Who knows what she might do sometime in the future with the one for the older girl.

At least for now, SO needs to follow the CO to the letter. BM is going to test him to see what she can get away with. He needs to keep up the firm boundaries.


Aniki's picture

Do NOT give BM either birth certificate. She can damn well get them herself. Sorry, but I'd be highly suspicious of why she needs his copies.

Do NOT deviate from the CO. AT ALL. That PITA just signed the papers. She IS high conflict. Your BF should follow the CO to the letter for at least one year. After that, MAYBE some variations.

ndc's picture

I wouldn't give her time unless you got your substitute time in advance, which can't happen here. I'd have other plans for that week.  Your BF is going to have very few weeks before the BM moves - I wouldn't risk losing any of that time.

tog redux's picture

Yes, good point. DH also learned to not give BM any extra time or exchanges. Of course, that was used against him in court, that he was "rigid" and not willing to let SS do things he wanted to do.

There really is no winning, so do what works the best for you.

thinkthrice's picture

our family wizard

somethingwicked's picture

Sorry you have such a bonkers , HCBM to deal with .As others suggest don't give an inch as you and DH see how she will make you all crazy. 

bananaseedo's picture

I agree with everyone NOT give an inch. No BC and NO schedule's a tactic,  he's about to have a lot less time with her once the move happens.  STICK to it like GLUE.  Screw BM and her sister...she can see her on HER time.