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So BM signed the papers and bf signs today

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

So right as bf was on his way to pick up his daughter from BM's, his attorney calls to see when he can come in to sign the papers. At this point it is 2:30 on Friday, so bf tells him he can come in Monday to sign them. So BM officially has already signed them, yay, and bf signs today, then it has to process and his attorney said takes another 6-8 weeks. Boo. Well at least by this afternoon everything will be out of our hands and is just a waiting game to get the final decree. Hopefully this does not take 8 weeks, but I am not optimistic it won't. BM did not try and give the tablet to bf or his daughter or bring up the subject when he got to pick up. BM did try and have her bring this lip gloss stuff to which bf handed it to BM and said I don't need or want this at my home and she said "it's fine she can take it" and bf said "no she's not taking it" and he left. 

On another note, BM told bf at pick up that her older child bit his daughter earlier this week and that his daughter fell down some stairs, then she said she fell down a stair. Then in the car ride bf's daughter told bf how mommy covered up my bruise and bite with makeup and how mommy spanked us both. Which BM has always said she never spanks. So bf relayed all the info to me, then about two hours later when she is about to get in the bath, I saw a HUGE bruise on his daughter's butt. So we took a photo of it and sent it to BM in the app and BM says "I told you she fell" and then goes on about how she fell on a concrete stair, etc. Which again kids get bruises, but now it is every pick up she has some obscure injury. Last pick up BM said she fell off a stool and she had a big bruise on her lower back. Bf is bringing it up to his attorney today when he goes to sign what he suggests. We both are uncomfortable with how it is every pick up for the last month and a half his daughter has big bruises or bruises on her face, now BM is covering up bruises and bites her older child is giving her sister. I don't think BM is the cause of the bruises, I mean maybe this last one is from BM spanking her, I don't know. However, clearly BM is not getting anywhere with keeping the older child from hurting the younger one. At the very least we have more documentation of it. 

Comments

tog redux's picture

This is a tough one. I would just keep track of the bruises and how she got them in case it's needed in the future. But it's unlikely you can do anything at this point. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

we all know that BM would of called CPS on bf from the bruises on the face, but we have not done that, but instead just ask her via message so we have it all documented. I don't know at what point we could do something if this continues that every pick up she has bruising or bite marks from BM's older child. It upsets us that it's clearly an on going issue 

tog redux's picture

If it continues for a few months, CPS might take a report for lack of supervision. Especially if your BF has made every effort to talk to BM about it and it keeps happening. Bruises are one thing but bite marks are much more serious. 
 

BM had no trouble telling the older girl that BF wasn't her dad before, wonder what she tells her now? Your dad doesn't love you, he only loves your sister?

Unfortunately, you have to let this play out a bit. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

will take a lot of instances with this happening and documentation for CPS to do anything about it. That is why every time there is something we take a photo and send it to BM so she can't deny it later of it didn't happen at my house or anything like that. 

I have no idea. I mean bf's daughter said that older child's dad lives far away, so no idea what that means or what she knows. One thing I thought interesting is in the agreement it mention's BM's older child in the way saying that BM has such child that bf did is not the biological father and did not adopt her since it happened during their marriage and that bf has no rights or claims to her. BM did not change the child's last name, yet at least, which I thought was interesting, but legally I have read she had to take bf off the birth certificate so not a clue what BM is doing about all that.

It is rough letting it play out and not being able to help or do anything about it

Gimlet's picture

I would bet that with the older child already being unstable, all of the drama that BM put her through and then seeing her younger sister get to go visit with "dad", she is probably reacting with more aggression.  The kid needs help she will probably never get.

Keep documenting.  BM will probably keep trying to minimize the problems.  How sad and frustrating. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

in counseling according to BM months ago when the older child was something that was discussed

It is very sad and frustrating. While I do feel sad for BM's older child, I feel more sad for bf's daughter because none of it is her fault either and her sister is hurting her, frequently. 

Gimlet's picture

Oh absolutely.  How awful for DH's daughter to be terrorized by her sister and then taught to cover it up by her mother.