So BM and BF finally have an agreement
So yesterday afternoon we got back BM's comments on my bf's settlement offer. Apparently BM is now moving this June and not next year. So she agreed to 50/50 until she moves in June 2020. Then bf will have his daughter all of June, July, and August then have to take her to where BM moved starting September 1. It also stated that BM still had a claim in the truck.
So while we really don't want BM moving this summer, it did give us 50/50 at least until summer then bf full custody all summer. So since bf said he would agree to that, she dropped her interest in the truck. So that was good news. What is kind of frustrating is the fact that now we are still going to pay full transportation costs when if we went to court it would have been split by the court, but whatever she gets nothing of the truck, no spousal support, so only thing would be child support whenever she decides to file for that. We did get for the years we don't have Christmas we have spring break so that is awesome! We can afford to do twice a year transportation and it's honestly not worth being the hill to die on.
BM's attorney is writing up the PSA and then very shortly this will be all done and finalized finally.
Just figured I'd share the good news with everyone 
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Wow, that's really good, IMO,
Wow, that's really good, IMO, considering how BM has been. Is BM moving a driveable distance, or will you have to fly SD there?
The summer plans will have to change when she goes to school right? She won't have all of June, July and August out of school anywhere.
She’s moving to her
Home state which is 11-12 hours away. So until we move, we can drive and get her. Plus bf's dad lives in that state too so we are planning on going to visit his dad when we drop her off this summer and probably for Christmas too, then when we move it'll have to be by plane.
yes just this summer, then it will be 7 weeks of summer and alternating Christmas and spring break.
but all in all it is good news for the most part and better than what I thought we were going to get
Yes, I agree.
Yes, I agree.
My guess is that at some point in the future, you and BF will end up with custody of her anyway, after BM gets to experience what it's like to have her and her sister all the time from September-June.
I sure hope
That happens. We are willing and ready to take her full time if/when BM gets overwhelmed.
While it sucks BM is moving so soon, I think it's for the best in terms of the older child. The distance will make it impossible for BM to try to push her on my bf. Just a shame then we will only see his daughter 8 weeks a year.
Ultimately, do you think your
Ultimately, do you think your bf will be ok only seeing his daughter that much? He seems like he wants to be involved so much. It's going to be hard. I can't imagine seeing my kids only 8 weeks in a whole year.
I mean
In a way no, but also he does not want to forever live his life near his ex wife either. Especially after everything she has done. Plus when he moves it'll be to provide better for her. Can't bar his ex from moving when he wants to move
Yeah, I don't think he has
Yeah, I don't think he has much choice. The court won't ever give him full custody, so either he stays around BM or he accepts the NCP schedule.
I’d stop giving futurestepmom
I’d stop giving futurestepmom false hope of him getting full custody. His lawyers were saying it and it just gave false hope as it was obvious he wasn’t going to get it. Of course it might happen but I’d focus on a new reality which is very minimal time with the kid
I believe this BM will hand
I believe this BM will hand it over - in the future. Not by fighting in court for it. She left the kid with her BF most of the time before the divorce.
I agree
I think she won't be able to handle it
I don’t see how any of this
I don’t see how any of this is a success in comparison to what BF wanted and what he and his lawyers were sure he is getting. He was going for full custody of both kids amd was sure he was getting them and taking them out of state.
At the end he lost one child completely and will only get the other for 8 weeks a year. 12 hours drive is no where near. It’s the other side of the country.
Did BF not object to her moving? I am not saying BF or any parent has to object to other parent moving all the time but this is just so opposite of what he planned for and pay a fortune to his lawyers. I am pretty sure lawyers were milking it knowing he’d never get kids away from mom. What a waste of money and energy
His one lawyer is the one who gave false hope
From the beginning, we new BM was going to try and take the older child away. She went through with that. Honestly with everything, unfortunately it is for the best because she is so evil she would of done it eventually or found her dad, which we suspect she did because she has stopped bringing the child up and things my bf's daughter has been saying.
no he was not going to object to her moving when the plan has been and still is for us to move in May 2021 to the other coast. We aren't really happy she is moving first, but at the same time with how high conflict she is and then everything with her other child it is probably for the best.
It is a success because it will finally be over, my bf won't have to go back to court in a year to spend more money, he got 50/50 from January to end of May then primary for 3 months. Which is more than the judge was going to give him. So while sure, it is not what my bf wanted obviously, it's better than this dumb judge was going to give and bf didn't continue to throw out more money.
while yes it has been a waste of time and money, at least now my bf is not having any regrets of any unanswered questions of what if, he tried and while it's unfortunate he lost, at least he knows he has done what he could except to just do what BM wants and I won't be wirh a man that does that. Just like I wouldn't support his decision to do whatever BM wants to stay in the child's life that she took his rights from. Just isn't the way I will live my life
Full custody was never
Full custody was never realistic, and the judge gave him 4 days a month, so this is much better.