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Signing Papers and BM’s antics

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

So BM messages my bf this morning asking if he was picking up his daughter for the weekend or waiting till his week. Then also saying she needs his daughters and her older child's birth certificates and social security cards to enroll them in school. 

Last we heard she hadn't signed the papers so the week on and week off schedule does not start yet. So bf calls his attorney to ask if he's heard that she has signed them and he says no and I haven't heard back from her attorney so I would ask her if she signed them. So bf asks her if she's signed them and she says how she hasn't she's "worried it's another trick" etc going on about how she just wants to coparent well and all she's had done to her. She even goes as far as to say that it should of all be done with already and I just want to get along for our daughter, blah blah, how him asking her is making her more suspicious about signing them.

So bf is civil because we want her to sign the damn papers and says how we can do that and work together once the papers are signed so we can move forward without this tension in the air, etc. After a couple times back and forth finally she said she is going to sign them she was going to sign them today and get the divorce done.

We are not believing a single thing she says till her attorney calls his attorney back and says they are indeed signed. But everything BM said was literally a lie and complete bullshit.


On to the birth certificate and social security card thing. Everywhere we read etc said BM legally has to change her older child's birth certificate that says he is the father. Also, no BM you are not getting the copies bf has so he has to go pay for new copies or these documents for his records. Legally he doesn't have to give them to her and she can get her own. To be civil so she signs the papers though he said I can't bring them today because I'm coming straight from work. She responds to bring them to drop off then on Sunday. Which if she hasn't signed the papers yet he will say he forgot them or can't find them etc. then once she signs bf will tell her no he isn't giving them to her, how she has to take his name off the birth certificate of her child, and to f*** off basically.


so yeah that's the update 


update: BM signed the papers today and bf's attorney is going and picking them up this afternoon yay 


futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

My bf was like think very hard can you think of once that I tricked her? And I was like no, but we are about to by saying you will work together to coparent peacefully so she signs the damn papers lmao.


update: she signed them today and my bf's attorney was going to pick them up today!!

tog redux's picture

Yay! Your BF plays all of this just right. My DH always got into arguments with BM, which just solidified her "victim" perception. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

For the past probably 6 months bf relays any contact from BM to me because it's usually conflict driven messages and then together we talk about, collect our thoughts, the outcome, etc and then he responds to BM. Plus gives him a chance to cool down and not react in an as pissed off mentality. It's been great for our relationship and really has been helpful to keeping level and getting through all the bullshit and drama 

tog redux's picture

Yeah, DH did that with me, too after a while. The only thing that worked with BM here was just ignoring her. 

SteppedOut's picture

I think he should give her child's social security card and possibly his daughter's (depending on if she is listed as custodial parent - sorry can't recall legal verbiage of his final agreement). You can not have "duplicate" social security cards. 

As for the birth certificates... he should keep his daughter's (ex can get her own). He should shred his ex's daughter's - it is an erroneous document. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Get a new social security card when she changes the birth certificate like she should? 

he was planning on it but was waiting till it was officially all over just in case for whatever reason it was relevant 

BethAnne's picture

Tell bm that he looked for them but cannot find them, they must have been lost and she can apply to get her own ones. If the child's name is going to change with the new birth certificate then she can get a new ssc from the ssa. I am not sure it will be necessary if her name is not changing. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

As a back up to try and not start conflict because he won't give in to her demand and we don't even want any of the drama from it. And originally it sounded like she was changing her name, but based on the info sounds like she didn't follow what she's supposed to and get the birth certificate changed and I thought I also read she had to change her name too because she wasn't his or adopted but I don't know for sure I have read so much!