It has been almost three months since this happened and because I just saw my aunt who is a SM last week while out of state at my great grandma's funeral I thought it might be something some of you would be interested in reading about. I am not posting about this looking for sympathy, but more to be informative about how much these evil BM's can be and the impact it does have on their children.

I have mentioned in a post, maybe two about how my 17 year old cousin passed away in August. To be more accurate, my cousin committed suicide in August. When she was about 5 or 6, my uncle and her BM divorced because she had been cheating on my uncle with my older cousin (aged about 13)'s hockey coach. From there, she moved out without my cousins, started doing lingerie photography, then a cocktail waitress, etc. My uncle had majority custody; he paid child and spousal support, a few years later he got together with a divorced woman he knew who had also had two children, around similar ages to my cousins. They just remarried in May 2018 because they were going to wait until my younger cousin graduated high school to not start any unnecessary drama with BM. They had a several year engagement, but when her (my now aunt)'s son was being stationed across the world in the Army, my younger cousin asked them to get married before he left, so they did. 

My cousins' BM got engaged and just married I believe January 2019. BM did not want my cousin to be a part of her wedding, it tore my cousin to pieces for it, and finally after much much struggle, my cousin was a bridesmaid in her mom's wedding, but she told my aunt how she just felt like a guest, how her mom didn't want her to be a part of it, etc. This trend has happened since my uncle and BM divorced when she was a child. BM ditching her time with my younger cousin for her friends or new fling. My older cousin as he was close to an adult at this point, wanted nothing to do with his mom and the time he did spend with her, he spent because his sister asked him to not let her go alone. BM never showed an interest in being her mom, sometimes wanted to be her best friend, telling her to dress in revealing clothing, to wear make up, etc. and even that was minimal. BM always made it about getting her money too and trying to get more of it.

My cousin felt her mother's rejection from when she was a young child and played a big part in why she is no longer here with my family. I am not saying it is all BM's fault, but it played a HUGE part of why my cousin is gone today. She went to therapy over never feeling good enough, etc. for years because of the internal struggle BM laid the ground work for. Back to my beginning thought of this post, when I was in the car with my aunt last week, she broke down about all the times my cousin would cry to her because her mom ditched her, how in the whole summer BM only bothered to spend 3 hours with her when she lives less than an hour away, how her mom has never wanted her, etc. My heart broke for my aunt more than BM, because BM never was interested in being there, but my aunt was there for her every day. You know who is constantly posting about her daughter being gone though? It is BM, the woman who for more than 1/3 of her life had no interest in being part of her life. This woman did not want or win custody, but yet had a huge impact on how my cousin saw herself and for that, I will never forgive her.

BTW I used my now aunt's son just as a way to communicate who I was talking about without making anyone confused. My aunt's two children are my cousins too and I have never thought of them as anything less than my family.