Part of me is pretty excited because it will be the first time bf and I have been alone for more than an hour or two while SD is still at day care since June 1. Our 2 year anniversary was yesterday and we had purposely planned to let BM have SD from 4 pm today until 4 pm tomorrow so we can celebrate our anniversary together. We will be going out for dinner and doing an escape room which neither of us had done before and since COVID is going on, looks like where normally we would have 4 strangers in our group, so far it is just us two and no walk ins allowed so that is super awesome. 

While I am excited I do have some concerns and also looking for advice in some areas so please see below.

1. BM for the first time since bf and I have known each other is coming to pick up SD at our place. Until everything was filed at the court with just the judge needing to sign off on the divorce, BM has not known where bf lives. Then back in May in following the CO, we notified BM of the change of address so she already knows where we live now and we did not want to waste our time driving the 20 mins to drop SD off at BM's then 20 mins back to do BM any favors.

So where I am looking for advice on this is I told bf I do not want BM coming up to our door to get SD. We live on the 3rd floor of an apartment complex and I do not want her anywhere near our doorstep. Plus who knows if she will have her older child with her or not, so I don't want bf to have to see her or have any interaction with her to make it harder on him. The child sitting in the car while BM puts SD in her seat is much better for everyone involved I think. Should bf message BM ahead of time to say "let me know when you arrive and I will bring SD down" or should he just go down a few minutes prior to 4 pm with SD to wait for her to get there? It wouldn't be such a big deal except we are supposed to A LOT of rain this afternoon.

2. Back in May when we did not know if BM was moving or not, but the CO says she was moving bf told his command he needed leave (time off) around September 1 to take SD to BM. I don't know if bf's staff srgt. called BM since at the time her info was still in the system with the marine corps. or if he looked BM up, but last week he told bf that BM is in a town 20 mins north of where she had been living. Which if this is true she has not followed the CO in notifying bf 30 days prior. Should bf ask BM today if she still lives where she used to for September 1 drop off or wait till it gets closer and message to ask. I know in a judge's eyes it is not a huge deal if BM did not follow the CO and did not notify bf she moved in the time stated, but if she did break the CO we want proof of it for down the line if need be or should we not even waste our time?

3. Obviously a concern is how we will get SD back because every time she goes to BM's and we get her back it takes a day or two to get her re-adjusted to the house rules and expectations because BM has none of either. This is just going to be a now and forever concern because I do not see BM changing and after September 1, SD will be spending more time with BM than us so it will just be every time we get her thing. Just hoping since it is only 24 hours and she has been with us for 2+ months that it won't be anything major because I would love for things to continue on how they have after the first few days when we got her in June.

As a side note, all that worrying about BM trying to get SD during the summer on bf's time was pointless because other than asking to celebrate SD's birthday with her around the time of her B-day, BM has never asked to see SD since June 1 and only calls every 2 weeks, so it has been super nice to have her not invading our time most of the summer. Still almost a month left to go so there is still time, but as of right now it has been nice. Also, bf is not very good at keeping secrets and being aware of his surroundings because when I came upstairs the other day after checking the mail he was talking to someone on the phone and I heard him say "her mom gave me a ring that has been passed down in her family and I am using the diamonds in that ring to put in the ring I am having made for her." To which I went in the laundry room and loudly started doing the laundry so I did not hear anything else :x 

EDIT: Just to clarify it sounds as it I am very concerned or on edge about both the ring and SD's visit with her mom. It is not that. It is that I have enjoyed no interaction from BM outside of mostly her just asking when to call SD. I also want no drama because tonight/tomorrow until 4 pm is about celebrating us and enjoying some alone time, I don't want any drama from BM to impact any of that. Also, I just wish I did not know as much as I do about the ring. Part of it is my fault for looking in the box, but then when I am trying to keep it out of my mind I overhear details from bf about the ring and I want the rest of it to be a surprise.