SD, BM, Thanksgiving, and Engagement
I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving! We picked up SD from BM’s on Wednesday night, which went totally smooth. BM came out with SD, SD ran over to bf, and as soon as SD got to him, he turned and walked to his truck. BM lingered for a minute like she had something she wanted to say, but did not and she looked back after walking away at the truck, at bf, SD, or me, who knows or cares. Then when we dropped SD off last night, when I got out of the truck to hug SD, BM was already standing outside waiting and staring. Mind you she has never once been outside waiting prior to bf arriving. I didn’t even notice she was outside till I walked around the back of the truck to SD’s side then I saw her standing on the sidewalk staring I glanced at her for less than a second, hugged SD, said goodbye to SD, and got back in the truck. Bf then hugged her, let SD run over to her, then he got in the truck and we left. It was really bizarre, both times BM seemed like she wanted to say something, but she didn’t say a word, but we also didn’t give her an opportunity to also. Bf and I think she wanted to bring up the threatening legal action letter we sent her, but have not heard a word about, but she doesn’t want whatever she is going to say in writing. This week bf and I will be resending the letter with a letter addressing that we have not heard back from her and this time will send it so we get a copy confirming she received it (we forgot to last time). If I remember correctly, you all had suggest to send letter certified, right?
Our Thanksgiving was really good, weird, but good. We had Thanksgiving at my parents as usual, but it was only my parents, siblings, then the 3 of us. My aunt, uncle, and cousins did not come as they have had COVID just last month so they don’t want to give germs or get germs. My grandparents did not come either as my parents traveled to north New York state last weekend to pick up my sister at college, stayed at a hotel, ate in a restaurant, etc. Which we totally get, just weird and a bit disappointing since it is our last Thanksgiving here, but it is what it is. Other than one instance of SD doing something she never would have before, but since she’s been with BM full time the last 3 months, she was her normal well behaved self which was good because we were a bit nervous what we would get. Plus her table manners are awful, but we just kept reminding her of them. So all in all it was a really good holiday weekend.
Due to my mom kind of putting us on the spot during our visit not about engagement, but related to my feelings on something that I don’t want until we are engaged, made a conversation happen with bf and I that I have been wanting to have, but have not wanted to bring up and pressure him about engagement. So on our drive home yesterday bf said he was sorry that it has not happened yet, but it wasn’t really his fault that it has not yet, he said it was 30% his and 70% not. He explained that he cannot tell me what or why until it happens, but he had a whole plan, then a wrench got thrown into it which has delayed the whole thing and it has frustrated him a lot, but he is trying to do the right thing. Basically went on about how he feels bad because he knows I am probably feeling upset or like he changed his mind, but it is not the case and I will understand later. Which then lead into us talking about a wedding which has been on my mind, but again not wanting to bring up and pressure him or anything, but basically how I have been thinking about we get married by a minister or something before we move, then have a wedding later. I told him how I don’t want to make the decision off a financial one, but between the fact that the marine corps then will not only move bf’s stuff, but mine too if we were married, it would save us a lot on moving costs, plus between my expensive health insurance and him not getting BAH with dependents since he does not have SD at least 51%, we are losing about $1,000 a month between the two of us, so that would set us up better for our cross country move. Plus with COVID I don’t want to plan something and it be canceled. Bf seemed to think it was a good idea too just making sure that I would really be okay with that and just asking my thoughts on a few things. So anyway, I feel really good now that we had that talk because it was starting to weigh on me, but I was trying to not push things when I already know he does want to marry me.