So yesterday morning we arranged with BM to talk to SD at 5:30 pm. Well we call and when SD answers she is crying and it takes almost 10 minutes to get her to calm down. Couldn't understand what she was crying over because when you asked, she would get upset/worked up again and you can't understand a word she says, especially on the phone. It was extremely frustrating because then we talked to SD for another ten minutes, but the last 5 she was very distracted. Which is understandable because SD is 4 so a 20 minute phone conversation is long for her. Part of me wonders if SD was just being sensitive or if BM was trying to make that phone call miserable on purpose. The reason I say this is a possibility is because BM will carry out SD or hold her hand, but pull SD behind her when taking SD out to bf at exchanges. BM likes to make it seem like SD doesn't want to see bf, etc. which is a bunch of bs, but you know she likes to play games. However, with no certainty about anything, we are leaving it go since it was only 1 time and we don't want to mess up seeing her for 5 days for Thanksgiving when it isn't in the CO as our time.

For those of you that saw my blog that is now deleted from yesterday, I just had a weak/emotional moment. Between being on my period and a few family members asking over the weekend when we visited them about when we are getting married, plus this other girl I know that has been with her bf half the time we have been together posting photos from their engagement shoot, I just got caught up in my feelings. I don't have any doubts bf wants to marry me or that he is reluctant to get married again. I 100% know he wants to marry me and have children with me. I don't doubt he will propose before we are to move in May 2021. Another poster messaged me privately and pointed out that 1. Bf might be waiting to propose during the holidays to make it extra special, which I could see happening because he knows I love the holidays, 2. Since based on what I accidentally overheard, it sounds like bf is getting a custom ring made for me which takes time.... Both of these things are very good points. I think I am just going to stop overthinking it and if it comes to January 2021 when we said we are going to start planning the logistics, then is when I am going to have a conversation with him about I am not doing any planning for the move until we are engaged. That is really where I am at with it all. I did tell him we had to at least be engaged before we move which we have 6 months until then and a little over 2 months until we are to start planning for it so I am going to give him time. I don't want to pressure him, he knows how I feel about it and at least I know he wants to be with me, so going to work on not stressing about it.

Also for those who were wondering, the trip to see my family that involved seeing my cousin and his gf went pretty well. The first night we got there (Friday), my cousin's gf was rather irritating, she would not stop talking and trying to be the center of attention. The next day however was better as we were in separate cars when traveling to go apple picking and then a winery. From the winery until bed time, I was drinking with my family and she was much more tolerable with alcohol in my system plus she appeared to mellow out with alcohol in hers. I am sure if bf and I shared a room with them like orignially intended, we would of been much more irritated by being around her. However, come Sunday we left early afternoon and she slept in till 11 am, so we didn't have to interact much with her then either. Only heard her bring up about "if I ever get a ring," twice. She mentioned about wanting to buy a house in April when their lease is up, but the way she talked about it made it seem like it was her plan, but my cousin doesn't know. So who knows, shouldn't have to see her until maybe Easter? but if COVID is bad again, definitely will be quite a while until we see her again. I think a lot has to do with she is just immature. The whole trip did not see her contribute financially or in any helping manner, just expects things to be bought for and done for her.