O/T - Dreading seeing my cousin's gf next weekend
Okay so next weekend we are driving 2 hours away to my aunt's home where my dad's side of the family is coming, plus us, my parents and my brother. My bf has met obviously my brother and parents, but he also has met the aunt, uncle, and cousin's home that we will be staying at. Bf has not met the rest of that side yet because since we have been together the times I have seen them has been mostly in sad circumstances or bf could not get the time off to fly there and visit. I was pretty excited for my bf to finally meet them since COVID canceled early plans to do so. I am no longer very excited about the trip anymore because now my cousin (who used to be my favorite to see) is coming with his gf. Originally my cousin could not get the time off of work to come, but now they are coming. Now it is only for the weekend and I will get over it, but I want to give a synopsis of why I don't like her/dread seeing her.
Background: This November they have been together for 5 years. She is 26 like me and my cousin is 25. Until August 2019 I had never met her, just knew she existed.
1. When I met her in August is when I flew down to be with my family after my 17 year old cousin committed suicide. My cousin who passed was the cousin I am talking about's sister. About 4-5 days after her death, my cousin asked if I wanted to go out with him, his gf, and another cousin for drinks to just get out of the house. I told him sure if that is what he wanted to do then I would go. We get in the car, about 3 minutes after we leave, my cousin expresses he changed his mind and doesn't want to go out. His gf responds with "If you don't want to go out anymore than I will go drop you off, but then I am going out because I need to get out of that house and get a drink. So whatever, thanks for changing your mind." .... Sure, it probably wasn't easy being around 20 members of my family 24/7 grieving our loss, but really that is how you're acting when his sister just killed herself a few days ago? ....
2. The next day gf goes to get her nails done, go to the gym, and get her hair done so in her words she could "look good" for the funeral...
3. Day of funeral, gf gets drunk at the event that comes after a funeral (I don't know what the right term is). Steals a bottle of wine from the restaurant the event was held at. Then when we are back at my grandma's house my aunt asks why cousin's BM's side of the family is at the house. Gf responds that she invited them back over. My aunt then says I am going to kindly ask if they could go back to cousin's BM's home. After aunt walks away gf says that if she invited them then they are welcome to come and she can invite whoever over to this house, etc. Now mind you I was not getting into it with her the day of the funeral with this drunk girl.
The reason this was such a problem is because my cousin's BM cheated on her dad with my other cousin's sports coach, left my uncle, wanted nothing to do with her children unless my uncle paid her money to do so, the list goes on and on, but the home we were at was my uncle's mother's home who HATES BM for good reason so it was extremely rude for the gf to invite them over especially because then BM showed up at my grandma's house because her family was there.
4. Still day of funeral, gf later goes on about how my other cousin's gf is so weird and ugly, etc. talking trash about this super sweet girl who has been the type of gf she should be during all this in being helpful, more on the quiet side, just being there for my cousin, instead of the way this girl was acting.
5. The day before I leave to go back to my home after the funeral, the gf and my cousin tell me that they are planning on visiting the aunt who lives 2 hours from me in a few months and I should come down to go see them, etc. So I said sure, that would be cool since I don't get to see my cousin very often. Next thing you know my cousin never mentions another thing again, then I find out that they are at my aunt's who didn't know they invited me and don't say a word. Come to find out that cousin's gf said she really didn't want me to come down so they basically ghosted me on the whole thing. Find out months later that gf found out I was ticked off with them about it and tells my aunt that if I have a problem with that whole situation I should say something to her.... Which really ticked me off, but using maturity and being the bigger person, I again am choosing not to get into with her.
6. She keeps making comments to and in front of my family about wanting a ring and not getting a ring. Now 1. my cousin HATES marriage especially after everything with his parents, 2. I don't think complaining to his family is going to get you a ring.
7. She constantly tells my cousin what to do and what not to do, you can never get a minute alone with him without her, she is entitled and extremely materialistic.
The comments she makes about the topic are "well if (cousin) ever gets me a ring," "I thought I'd have a ring by now, but apparently not," "everyone else is getting a ring, but me," etc.
There are about 10 more examples I could go on and on about, but I am not going to. The point is I was really looking forward to next weekend and the fact my cousin is coming with his gf has tainted that. She is very bossy, rude, stuck up, and always wants to be the center of attention and admiration. None of us have any idea what he sees in her besides she has a job and is pretty? Another relative asked my cousin if he saw himself being with gf for the rest of his life and he said no. So I don't really understand the point or anything on why he is with her. The only thing I see is that he is comfortable and doesn't feel like putting energy in to meet someone else? No one in my family likes her that I have heard of. I have heard many many complain about her or share a can you believe that story about her.
My cousin and I are not nearly as close as we used to be so I am not going to say anything about her unless he directly asked my opinion on her. Everyone else is tiptoeing around it because after what he has been through no one wants to get him upset. Which I get, but the end result might be he ends up marrying her because he is tired of hearing her complain about not getting a ring and if that happens it is not going to end well.
Well enough venting about the subject just needed to get that out. It is only 2.5 days, one of the days we are going apple picking so at least we will be out and about. In a way I feel bad because bf already hates her since he has heard my mom, my aunt, my dad, my uncle, and me complain about her. Just need to suck it up and get through it.