Night before pretrial, BM responds to the settlement agreement
Last night, almost around 7 pm, my bf checks his email and finds his lawyer emailed him, with BM's response to the settlement agreement sent last week. I will say BM disagreed with or changed less than I thought she would honestly so in a way i guess that is good. I will list BM's changes/additions, then I will list bf's response/thoughts. So BM said no to 50/50 custody, she offered instead of Friday - Sunday every other weekend, Thursday - Monday, and on the week it is not my bf's weekend, to have his daughter on Tuesdays from 4 - 6 pm. Agreed to 50/50 legal custody, except discussing extracurricular activities with the agreement they do not schedule extracurricular on each other’s time. Fine with communication being only on the co-parenting app, added unless an emergency and to have responsible communication while child is with other parent. When he moves, she is fine with every spring break, will not give whole summer and offered 6 weeks. Christmas break she will not give every year, but will give every other year, starting 12/27 - 1/2. She added that after bf makes the move, that she is free to relocate out of VA. BM also added that because bf is moving out of state for him to cover 100% of transportation costs to and from. Then she put on there that my bf's truck was purchased during the marriage and has her name on it, so she is owed equitable distribution of it. In regards to older child, it states that as she is not biologically my bf's that she cannot legally be in the agreement and a circuit court judge cannot rule anything on older child as her father is not a party in the agreement. She had no objections to or changes to: alternating claiming child on taxes, no child support, no spousal support, alternating holidays until we move out of state, and his daughter remaining on bf's medical insurance/splitting medical costs 50/50.
Where to begin with our response back... I will first say what we did not have any objections to: legal custody not including extracurricular, communication, her relocation, and taking older child completely out of agreement. So obviously we said no to not giving 50/50, stated that for the time while bf is living in VA that it is reasonable for bf to have 50/50 as BM expects and bf has offered for BM to have child during school year except for summer break and Christmas break. Since BM wants bf to cover complete transportation costs we asked for 7 weeks of summer instead of 6 weeks, letting BM have spring break instead, and agreeing to alternate Christmas break but for it to start the day after Christmas break begins until 1/2, so we agreed to transportation costs with the agreement of the proposed schedule. My bf's truck does not have BM's name ANYWHERE. We sent the lawyer last night a copy of the bill of sale which shows only my bf's name,the retail installment sales contract with only my bf's name, and the electronic contracting and signature acknowledgement with only my bf's name. On all documents, the co-buyer section is blank or says n/a. We also sent to the lawyer how the truck was purchased during the marriage, but with funds gifted from grandfather's stock to my bf.
So let me just say I am HAPPY that the older child is completely taken out of the agreement, so after all the worry, BM was like I don't want that or at least her lawyer was like yeah no you can't do that, which is what I thought the whole time anyway. It also kind of sounds like based on the verbiage used that BM knows who the father is? Or was I the only one to get that vibe? A lot of you are probably like why won't bf just agree to that offer, he could get worse in court. Well a big part of my bf's pay is his BAH which is for his living costs as the military pay is not good and unless you have a minimum of 50% custody, majority of the time, you cannot get BAH. We really do not want to agree to cover transportation costs, however if we don't we don't think BM would agree so at least going down to at least once a year and then every other year twice a year, we think is doable. Then there is the whole truck thing, that really pissed my bf off because it wasn't her money at all, she wasn't there for the buying or even looking for the truck, etc. but she has the audacity to say she has a claim to half of it? BM's attorney also added if there was a date that bf was moving BM might be more inclined to agree as she is worried she agrees, then he does not move, she gets stuck not being able to leave either, so we told him my bf's contract ending date (forget what that date is really called) which is May 2021, probably will leave before then like a month or so, but that just gives BM more time with child which is what she wants anyway. We are not surprised she did not ask for child support, because we think right after they agree, she will file for child support the next day.
Crossing fingers that she will actually not be an entitled c you next Tuesday and we can wrap this up, especially since it seems like she actually is willing to agree by not putting ridiculous things in the agreement (except the truck). If not pretrial is today at 10 am I believe and we will see what the attorney's feedback and response is to last night's email and today's court day. We really would like to settle this and not go to court because then in a year and change we will have to go back to court because we are moving and take what the judge decides basically. So currently trying to weigh what is the best move given all the factors.