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My friend screenshot an email from BM

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

So my friend an hour ago sends me a screen shot saying BM is spamming the BF's email inbox. Because of the audacity of BM I will share with you all verbatim what she said except changing the SD's name to SD. I told my friend they literally need to get in front of a judge ASAP, nothing else is going to make it any better and at this point only person being hurt is SD. Friend said her DH is calling an attorney in Ohio when he gets home, so if that's true at least they are finally doing something. I also re-explained to her that a judge isn't going to look kindly on them not letting her contact her mom at all and how judges want to go with the parent that encourages a relationship with the other parent especially if that parent is to be the custodial parent, they need to let her talk to her mom. If they don't get started on something legal after today's message than I have nothing to say to them on the topic because it's just drama and stupid. 
 

"You really love to unblock and reblock my number don't you? You love being an arrogant asshole to the max. And I fucking now and forever will hate you for it and I fucking hate that you are the father of my child BELIEVE ME, you aren't a good one. 
 

The agreement was you wouldn't block my number and you'd let me talk to my daughter, I haven't done ANYTHING to you to deserve you treating me this way.  It's both you and SM who like to throw fuel into a fire. I was okay with SD coming to you on the condition you agree to what I asked and I which you did. Even after I put a no contact order in place for your crazy fucking girlfriend. I didn't have to let SD come. I shouldn't of let her come to you. I wouldn't of had anything bad during this time. But I was being nice to you. So if you could let my daughter call me just like she gets to call you. I would appreciate that or her phone stays with you and she doesn't call you anymore when she comes home. I will be coming way early to get her and I will be escorted by the same sheriff who came in and checked in on her. I'm done with this shit with you. You are a grown ass man and you should not be treating the mother of your child the way you fucking do. You are pitiful!!!! Good job cause you won't be seeing her again after this or talking to her anymore"

 

only comments I'll make is 1. My friend is his wife not girlfriend, 2. She didn't get a no contact order on my friend either. She likes to threaten and say such, but my friend never threatened her or anything just texted her saying she needs to follow the court order and give her husband his time with SD because BM blocked his phone number. Anyways that is that 

Comments

advice.only2's picture

Sounds like a typical BM not getting her way. So are they not allowing the SD to contact the BM while she is with them? Or are they just limiting the contact to a reasonable amount of time and GUBM can't handle that?

Not knowing the whole situation this sounds like a BM who way oversteps and they have had enough and are putting boundaries in place and BM is just running her mouth about it.

ESMOD's picture

ugh...your friend should have never contacted his EX.. we know that rarely turns out well.. of course the EX will listen to the scolding of the new woman in her Ex's life..lol..haha.. no... I don't believe a wife has ever changed the Ex's tune..

They do need to get things legally set out and if OFW is the only way they can civilly get this done.. then that is it.  his wife needs to stay out of the middle.. they need to facilitate the calls when she is with them.. in a reasonable manner and if mom won't reciprocate.. well.. then perhaps he needs to go to court over THAT issue.

Eventually the child will be old enough to be in control of her own electronic device and she will stay up her mom's hind end if that is what she chooses.. or talk to dad whenever.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Your friend needs to calm the bleep down and stop letting emotion influence her actions.

Her H is the one who should be handling his ex, but they both need to educate themselves on dealing with a High Conflict person. He also needs to learn how to gray rock and use BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) when communicating with BM. I'm a big fan of knowing the CO inside and out, using Our Family Wizard, and sending screen shots with the pertinent area highlighted when BM starts making up her own rules. Basically, you create a highly structured and monitored system for communication, and let BM show her a$$.

https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/biff-responses

justmakingthebest's picture

I don't know if you remember but BM told everyone in town including the school that she had an RO on DH and that he wasn't allowed to talk to SS. NONE of that was true. Our attorney had to write a letter to be disbursed to the doctors and school- which was crazy because you would think that they would have asked for a copy of it, not just take BM's word. 

You told your friend right. They need to file for an emergency hearing and get all this stuff worked out. They need to have routine scheduled calls. Something like daily phone access from 7pm-8pm- so that she isn't blowing up the phone the whole time. A standard visitation schedule with a meeting place where there are police and cameras- like a fire station or police station. And all communication that is not and emergency to be done through OFW. The definition of an emergency also needs to be outlined- National disaster, Car Accident, Health Emergency, Place of residence on fire- etc.  

ladybug3's picture

From the last post I read it sounds like your friend and her SO are keeping BM from contacting SD at all. If that's the case they are going to wind up in trouble. The emails from BM don't look good, but your friend's SO is the one violating the CO or at the very least stopping BM from having a continuing relationship with SD. That's a worse look than a few nasty emails.