More about court yesterday
Thank you all who offered their support and condolences for my bf and I. Unfortunately the outcome of yesterday showed me how much of a joke the "family justice shit system" as my friend called it yesterday in regards to dad's who fight for custody of their children is. One thing I will say is my bf said his lawyer is the reason for the outcome yesterday, that it would not of been a total flip of decision, however if his lawyer was on his A game then he would of been awarded more time than he was. On one hand I appreciate the lawyer showing up as he was supposed to since two weeks ago he found out he had to move to take care of his dying mother, so my bf did not have time to retain a new lawyer etc. for this hearing, but he should of been more prepared.
BM lied on the stand A LOT and she apparently cried three times too. Her lawyer and her set this up so well to look like she is a good mom for the whole last 3 months in the 1.5+ year this has been going on. However, the rest of the time she has not been present or an involved mom, so it really just sucks that basically the year and a half my bf has been the primary parent in all regards just does not matter or count apparently. Neither does the fact that BM having her mother care for her children while she is working is not supportive of their education or social skills. Or that BM cannot care for the children on her own without her mother. Or that when they were together my bf would come home from work at 10 am, BM would still be asleep in bed and the children at 1 and 2 were in the living room doing whatever they wanted and had not been fed yet. Or at 3 and 2 they ran away out BM's house and down the street. Or all the times she last minute couldn't get the children, changed schedule less than an hour ahead, lied about her schedule because she did not want to get the children. I could go on for a while about all the things that should matter but don't, apparently the fact my bf has been deployed twice, the one time the younger child fell at the playground, and one weekend since August when BM offered for him to get the children he declined because he couldn't all matter more than everything else.
What is kind of confusing to us, but my bf is going to see his lawyer today is about the older child. The judge said the older child was not a part of the discussion as the results of the genetic testing show the child is not his and that was it. My bf asked his attorney at the end of the hearing, so that's it with the older child, it is done? His attorney said yes. However, we both are surprised if that is the case that my bf did not have to sign anything, or is not ordered to hand over her birth certificate and social security card. I do know though that a new birth certificate is going to be ordered by VA law for her so maybe that is why? I really don't know, so my bf will see what his attorney says today.
So even if his lawyer was not leaving, my bf would of dropped him as an attorney and obtained a new one after yesterday. The next few days he will be meeting with possible new attorneys and figuring out what he wants to do. Right now he would prefer to settle with BM because if this judge belives her story about being raped, then going for a faulted divorce will be a waste of time and money. However, if BM wants spousal support as she did before, he will not agree to that because she should not get any. They were married under 5 years and he paid her $600 a month for 13 months per the marine corps order, and she cheated. So we will see what the attorneys say, however unless the judge doesn't buy BM's story and even still does not mean he will indeed order more time when he already said his ruling this time was based upon not wanting to split up the sisters.