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This might be kind of dumb to be asking about ...

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I am a planner, always like to think ahead, especially when it comes to gifts because I like to give gifts that are personal and thoughtful instead of rushing around to just get something. So it is end of April right now, Father's Day is coming up in June so I was trying to figure out what I was going to get my bf/get from his children to give to him. One thing my boyfriend loves is doing coordinating shirts sometimes (kinda corny, but I actually think it's sweet too). So on Etsy, I saw this cute Dad/kid coordinating shirts where the dad one says "Taco" and the kid one says "Taquito" and I was like oh that is PERFECT because he loves tacos and it's funny/cute. Thing is it only comes with one child shirt, so I messaged the seller to ask if I could purchase just another child's shirt too (waiting on a response). So I checked out the seller's shop to see what else they have and came across something that is even more perfect. They are family bear shirts (he LOVES bears) and plus I can get multiples so I was like COOL, get a "Daddy Bear" shirt and then two "Sister Bear" shirts and he will love them. 

Sounds all great and dandy right? Well the dilemma I am having right now is whether or not to get me a shirt too, there is a custom option where I could make it say whatever I choose. Knowing how my boyfriend is and how he likes to include me, if I did not get myself a shirt he would probably be disappointed and ask me why I did not get a coordinating one too. So I thought about doing either a "Girlfriend Bear" shirt or a "Amanda Bear" shirt (my name is not Amanda, but used it as a place holder to get my point across). Or should I just totally play it safe and go with the Taco and Taquito shirt and either buy another set or hope I can just get another kids shirt? 

What do you all recommend? I don't want to insinuate myself when it is HIS day, ya know? But I also really liked the bear shirts. So really just seeing what people think would be best. For those who do not know, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months now just to give some background. 

Comments

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I think you're stressing too much! Take a deep breathe! (I've been thinking about father's day too. It's a tricky one.)

I think the Taco ones are cute. But you could easily go with the bear ones too. Order one if YOU want, but don't worry about it. Just make sure you wish him a happy father's day. Send his kids running to see him in matching shirts with his in hand and I'm sure he'll be over the mood regardless of what ones you get or if you get one for you or not!

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

It definitely is! Especially when they are 4 and 2 so it is not like they are really even making anything in school for him yet like they will be in elementary school. This is our first father's day of being together so that is why I am worrying so much I think! Just trying to feel out what to do! haha

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

It doesn't have to be anything fancy Smile Take a breather. I think your shirts are an amazing idea!

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

I wouldn’t do anything for his Father’s Day gift. He’s not your daddy or your baby daddy. If the kids ask you to help them, sure, why not? 

But if you’re getting the shirt, do the taco one. Otherwise, people might get the wrong impression if he’s all alone wearing “daddy bear” shirt.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

They are not going to ask me to help them, they don't even know what day it is yet, let alone Father's Day. I will definitely be getting him something from them, he deserves to be recognized as a father on that day. Also, before you say his family should get him something, he doesn't really have any family and the one family memeber he has lives on the other side of the country. 

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Help them make little Father’s Day cards? The gifts are supposed to be from the kids. Before my skids became completely independent , I’d take them to Kohl’s and let them pick out a nice-ish necklace or bracelet for BM. When the oldest got a job and a car, it was up to them to handle it.

for father’s day, that was BMs problem to help them. She was getting the child support money, she made sure everyone knows she’s the mom.. well, mom up, lady and help your kids.

TwoOfUs's picture

lol.

This is so true. BM never remarried and never helped her kids get birthday, Christmas, or Father's Day stuff for DH. There were 3 kids...and we helped them each buy for Birthday, Christmas, and Mother's Day...so 9 presents a year that "we" were buying for BM...but the dad days were also my responsibility. 

One of the many joys of blended life. Was so glad when they got older and started handling it on their own. 

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

I even made sure they had something really nice for when their maternal grandmother came to visit from the home country. For about 3 years she was gifted a fairly pricey piece of jewelry from skids which prompted BM to send me a thank you note for the gift. I never understood that. But it was a kind gesture.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Bm is Psycho. We do nothing for her, she does nothing for us. It works. Wouldn't want flirty mc flirty pants feeling encouraged over there.

But she's also been a disrespectful high-conflict Imp who dodges child support payments and does more harm than good for the kids. If she was sane things might be different.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

It was more of since we don't live together how I can help them do that without him knowing. However he mentioned he needs a haircut this weekend so I may suggest I stay with the kids while he does that and we can make him cards then. That's a good idea!

Well you are nicer than me, I have zero respect for their BM and as of right now do not see myself helping with a gift for Mother's Day unless when they are older they ask me to. Also, I do not think I would like it if the BM has any part in getting him a Father's Day gift, especially right now. When you cheated on my bf when he was deployed and got pregnant with another man's child and pretended she was his biological daughter for 3 years when you knew the truth the whole time? Yeah no, I do not have a drop of good feelings about anything regarding BM and I do not think I ever will. Perhaps makes me a b****, but that is my opinion.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

How you or you boyfriend feel about BM is moot. Just on principal BM and I will never be friendly. But for doing the gift and card thing for BM, I was showing the skids how parents should be treated on their day.I wasn’t doing it to get points for being a good significant other, I did it so they would learn something about consideration and altruism.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Whenever possible, teach the skids about giving, altruism, and the joy of doing for others. These are the lessons that CODs often miss out on. Try to instill the habit of celebrating others' special days. You ordering something on line and letting the littles take credit for it doesnt teach them to value their father. Instead, maybe buy some crayons, glitter, construction paper etc and devote some time to helping them make a gift for Daddy? Even if he's in the next room, you'll be doing them all a solid if you make it a habit for the skids to honor others. 

MommyT's picture

You are so sweet to buy BM mother’s day presents. I figure dh’s monthly child support check is recognition enough that she carried as in her womb for nine months. After that, DH did most of the parenting, so he get the special presents on Father’s Day. 

ksmom14's picture

I think you should go with the taco/taquito ones, it totally eliminates the issue of you having a shirt since it's meant to be the "big" and "little" version :)  

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

sorry, I forgot to answer your question. No, don’t get yourself a shirt too. This is for your boyfriend and his kids on father’s day. Getting a “family set” of shirts is slightly tacky.