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Just like that we almost lost Thanksgiving

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

So if you read my blog earlier today stating about BM bringing up her older child again to my bf when confirming pick up time tomorrow for Thanksgiving, this is a continuation of that blog. So BM BLEW UP at my bf's response saying you took my rights away and that is the end of topic. Sent 4 paragraph messages back to back, see below for some quotes on her response to this.

"That is not what happened"

"If this is a punishment you are hurting *older child*. She cries and asks to call you. That is cruel. I never removed your rights other than legal ones to protect the girls"

"I have been nothing but patient and kind about extending time with *bf's daughter* so we can just give you your Friday if you want to be that way. Separating the girls for long periods of time isnt healthy and if we cant have a decent conversation than I'm no longer extending any time. Friday at 3."

"I have ignored your treatment of me and cutting *older child* off for a time so you could collect your thoughts but I can no longer do that. She feels you dont love her anymore and it tears her up. I have more than a few times said that I would honour your place in her life and you refused. I will not separate them more than I have to at this point and time."

"I am truly conflicted trying to go peacefully about the situation. Obviously equally fighting for the girls. They are my heart and soul and seeing *older child* in pieces is cruel. The only person your hurting is her and yourself."

"If we could squash this I would greatly appreciate it. I've honoured keeping *older child* out of it. Saying no to phone calls etc."



1. That is what happened

2. The only rights there are, are the legal ones....

3. The CO states bf has time on Thanksgiving from 9 am - 5 pm.. so not giving him any time on the holiday is contempt

4. This is all your fault and bf is not going to get on his knees and do what you want to be in child's life after you removed his rights

5. You dropped her off at your mom's 11 hours away on 11/15 and according to your social media you still are not even with the child... so you are willingly separating them on your own

6. You are the one who actually hurt the child and caused all of this

7. You caused ALL of this


So anyway,  bf responded saying how she agreed previously to these arrangements, he has plans with his daughter revolving around the previous agreement for pick up, and how he only has her 6 days a week and wants to utilize any extra time he can. So back to picking her up at 4 pm tomorrow... BM is so delusional. Also all the spelling and grammatical errors is because it is BM's wording totally and completely


**Edit: I forgot this important one

"You do have to understand why I'm upset. We are *older child's* parents thats the only way I see it. So not resolving this issue hurts *older child*

^bf was not her parent when you removed his rights, bf was not her parent when you were rubbing it in that he was not her biological father over the summer, etc. It is super convenient that now you view him as her parent when you took away his rights to her.


ICanMakeIt's picture

The lack of logic that woman exhibits is frightening. 

May the Force Be With you all this holiday season. My heart hurts for your DH, as she continues to make a super sad situation much worse every time she gets the chance.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

It is basically her throwing a tantrum because bf did not react the way she thought he was going to when she took his rights away.

I love Star Wars! Thank you! My heart hurts for him too, I am really hoping his lawyer can help manage the situation somehow. 

Gimlet's picture

I rescind my wish for BM to fall naked into a hill of fire ants and replace it with a wish for said fire ants to make a nest in her hoo haw.

Did she respond to his text that he's sticking to the agreement?  Have you retained the lawyer yet? 

Edit: no rescinding, I wish for both. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

yes, if only we had a genie and could make this happen!

Yep, she responded saying 4 might work, but 5 pm would probably be better and she would text tomorrow with definite time. Which is fine we planned for her to not stick to a time and are leaving the next morning early just in case she changed times on us. He goes and signs his lawyer FINALLY tomorrow. So he will be getting all of his files from the other lawyers, then our log of exchanges since December 2018, the journal of his time with his daughter, the log of BM's harassment about her older child, etc. Then the following week will meet with him and discuss either an agreement or trial. Bf is leaning towards agreement, but there is a pre trial date in December and trial date in January so either way soon things will be finalized.

Siemprematahari's picture

The shit this woman pulls is pure f@ckery at its best!

She went out her way to take away rights to her older child but still wants him to play daddy *shok* How about placing energy on getting paternity tests on the numerous men she possibly slept with and see who's this child's father. She's the one that stepped out and created this hot mess for her daughter, now she has to own the consequences that will come from it.

I'm just sorry that his daughter has to be raised by such a psycho path and hope that sh!t doesn't rub off.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I don't even understand whether she is really this delusional or she just cannot for the life of her take responsibility for her actions. Probably both. 

Supposedly, BM did drugs and fucked random dudes while my bf was deployed, so I don't even think she knows who she slept with. She told a mutual friend's wife who told my bf that she said this. She's absolutely disgusting and a disgrace to women.

Me too! I hope that even if we have to wait till the child is a teenager, that his daughter then would chose to live with us, but with PAS and such who knows what the future holds.

tog redux's picture

Wow. That's unbelievable.  "the only rights I took away were the legal ones?"  UMM - WTF other kinds of "rights" are there? 

She's really something else.  Good for him that he ignored all that and just repeated his request to clarify the times. 

I don't think he should ever reply to anything about the Older Girl again.  


UGH, this makes my stomach hurt like BM's emails here used to.  So impossible. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I asked bf on the phone when he called me because it looked like we weren't getting her for the holiday, the same exact question! It's like she's trying to say you have the moral right to be her parent? I don't even know.

Oh absolutely, unless his attorney advises something different, any comments regarding the older child will be ignored, it is not worth it. He has his documented proof of him asking repeatedly to stop and her continuing to do so, I think it's pointless to do so anymore.

These messages literally made my hands shake with anger/frustration/upset by the audacity BM has. 

tog redux's picture

Yeah, it really is unbelievable how these women think.  Just hang onto your sanity, and the less he communicates with her the better.  

She needed to "protect" older girl from the man she wants to be her father? WTF? 

I'm sure it does hurt the girl - but that's on BM. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

It will be good to get away for a few days and visit my family, will definitely help us relax a bit.

Yeah, literally none of her statements make any sense. I think what she meant behind that commment was she was going to try and take any and all control of the children that she can and only way to gurantee that was to take his rights away... Maybe? I don't know!

I am sure it does too and we struggle with guilt, etc. about it, but we have come to terms with the fact that it is all BM's fault and we can't act on our sympathy and give in to BM just to make a situation better that BM caused.

tog redux's picture

It's just a tantrum because she isn't getting her way - she's not in control.  BM here used to try to sound all professorial and haughty, but every now and then she would lose the thread and send a page long email manifesto attacking every thing DH has ever said or done in his entire life.  It's emotional dysregulation from not getting their way, and it's scary. 

Simpleton21's picture

tog- You just described the BM we deal with perfectly.  Ugh!

OP- Sorry you're dealing with this.  I know it is stressful.  I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving Smile

hereiam's picture

Oh my God, that woman.

"I have ignored your treatment of me and cutting *older child* off for a time so you could collect your thoughts

Meaning, she was hoping that after awhile, your BF would continue to act as the father (take her off of her hands, occasionally and pay for things).

I have more than a few times said that I would honour your place in her life

Well, that's funny because stripping him of any rights was not honoring his place in the girl's life.

They are my heart and soul and seeing *older child* in pieces is cruel.

If that were true, she would not have done what she did. SHE DID THIS.

"If we could squash this I would greatly appreciate it

Meaning, if he would just finally give in, and continue taking the older girl and playing Daddy to her, she would be more cooperative.

She is such a bitch. There is aboslutely no use in him defending his postion any longer, he has stated it many times. She needs to be ignored when she brings up her older daughter.



tog redux's picture

Yeah, she thinks he's trying to hurt HER, BM, by not seeing the girl. Typical selfish thinking from a BM. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Basically the only thing that will pacify her is if bf decided to do exactly what she wants and with no rights act as her dad, pay for her, etc. like you said, anything outside of that, doesn't work for her.

We agreed this afternoon that he won't be addressing anything she says about older child anymore, she won't stop and it just makes her blow up. She is a selfish, stupid, bitch, YES!

Sparkl3s's picture

As other posters have mentioned even if he did it probably would be followed with CPS and alleged abuse allegations. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Especially when she has already said that my bf spanked her with a golden spoon when there isn't even any spoons remotely golden in the home and the counselor says she shows symptoms of sexual abuse. I don't want to get near any of that with a ten foot pole. The child has lied about me twice to bf and said once I cut her with a knife, as I cut her pancakes her hands were on her lap and bf was sitting next to me and another time said that I took all her toys away when bf was right there too. Sorry I'm not willing to take the risk for a child that is not even my bfs, no fucking way

Sparkl3s's picture

Your BM is quickly becoming one of my least favorites and that says ALOT for this board. 

What a waste of humanity she is... hopefully his daughter is able to survive the emotional games. 


futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

However, I could see how she is becoming one of your least favorites. If anything, her removing his rights as dad just showed her true colors and how horrible of a human being she is.

I hope so too!

tog redux's picture

Taking away his rights is one thing - but then expecting him to continue to act as her father and blaming HIM for causing damage to her? What the actual fork. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Well start saying my bf forced her to have sex with another man and become pregnant with the child while he was overseas, it is just as plausible 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I don't think so. 

thinkthrice's picture

narcissist.  She wants a man to be a father as far as the $$$$$ and when convenient for HER but doesn't want a man to PARENT the children thus she retains 100% control/authority, with 0% responsibility/accountability.  Relegating a man to an ad hoc non-parental babysitter and walking ATM.

The "smart" ones DON'T make it "official" because that would put an end to cash prizes aka CS but make no mistake, the same rotten thought process still applies.

This HCGUBM was dumb enough to shoot herself in the foot.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

egotistical and thought my bf would never stop seeing for/paying for the child whether he had rights or not, well she was wrong and she doesn't like it!

tog redux's picture

Can you imagine?

BM: I really want you to be just like a father to her.

SO: OK, in that case, BM, I think she needs to see a specialist for her-


Side note: why does BM spell "honour" like she's in Canada or England? Isn't she American?

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

she is literally an IDIOT. On her facebook page it says "the most precious jewels you will ever have around your kneck are the arms of your children"


When I saw that and some of her other spelling/grammatical mistakes in messages, I was like really?! you chose a real smart one, great decision babe, to my bf because just blows my mind that he was that naive and dumb about BM

tog redux's picture

LOL, Kneck.  

Yeah, be glad she's dumb, though - BM here is smart and crafty and fooled everyone. 

stepgirlfriendfurmom's picture

not sure what a KNECK is, but I know what a NECK is. 


ITB2012's picture

K'nex (the construction toy). Right? LOL

The happiest thing for her is to see her child's arms wrapped around a piece from a Knex set. She must really enjoy watching them play.