Since it seems that people disagree with the
fact that bf and I do not attend small close events/situations with BM because we do not want to risk an interaction with BM's older child when it has just been a year since BM took his rights away from her, I would love to know how everyone else would handle this. After BM rubbed it in bf's face he wasn't the biological father after passing her off as his for 3 years. After she tried for months after removing his rights to emotionally black mail him into taking care of the child still financially and physically with BM having the ability to take her away at any moment? After BM told the child she wasn't his while waiting for the court ordered dna test result hearing that made the child tell bf to his face "you are not my daddy!" After how BM any chance she gets still mentions this child to bf and blames him for it all when clearly he isn't the one who cheated, ordered the dna test, or asked for the rights to be removed? Or how about the fact the child is about to be 6 and probably has no idea who her dad is and how confusing that would be for the child to see bf because she cannot understand what is going on? It is emotionally damaging for both bf and the child.
So please enlighten me given all that how you would handle this or encourage your partner to handle this after being there with your SO through all that and seeing all the pain and such the subject has brought him, but then tell him he should go to these things where he has to see the child before he has been able to fully move on. I do not and will not put bf through that and I don't think it is right to put the child through that either.
Edit: I have NEVER told bf not to go to something for SD or said anything about not going because of BM's older child. That is bf's decision 100% and I am not going to sit here and encourage him to go after everything. So since apparently it has been misunderstood to mean I am telling him not to go, I wanted to make it clear. Also, in a max 6 months, we will live in another state from BM, the other coast to be exact, so these interactions of BM and her child will happen so rarely it is not even funny.