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Health Insurance

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

For those of you who carry your step kids on your health insurance versus your DH's health insurance how much of your information did you have to provide to BM for when she takes the SKIDS to the doctor? I am asking because SD is to be carried on bf's health insurance, that is what was agreed upon, which makes sense especially him being in the military right now. As many of you know we will be moving to the other side of the country in May 2021. We know the health insurance for bf's new job is not the best so we were just discussing about if the job I get has the better health insurance what to do. When I was on my parent's health insurance I had to fill out my father's social security number. If my job has better health insurance, I don't want us to go with mine if BM needs to know my social security number or any of what I would consider too personal information. So how much does BM need to be able to take SD to the doctor?


tog redux's picture

I've never heard of anyone needing the person's SSN.Here BM will just get an insurance card sent to you for SD that she takes to the doctor.  But obviously it's a thing since you had to do it, so check with the insurance company. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I think it might be because I was on their insurance after 18. My dad has one of the best health insurances so since my job's isn't great, my parents told me to stay on theirs until 26. Actually quite appreciate them for that because my insurance right now is crap and very expensive lol

lieutenant_dad's picture

The boys are on mine. I had to have their birth certificates, SSNs, and a copy of my marriage license to add them. All ET gets is a copy of the insurance card. She doesn't have a separate log-in to view EOBs or coverage. She can call my insurance provider and find out if something is covered, but that's it. If she wants to know more, she'd have to talk to DH (who would talk to me).

ETA: If you were on your parents' insurance as an adult, then you likely needed more info because you were enrolling yourself. I vaguely remember having to fill out paperwork when I was on my dad's insurance in college.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

That makes sense. We have SD's original birth certificate and social security card already which is good. Before discussing possible options with bf I first wanted to be sure that information of mine I wouldn't want BM to have I would have to share if it ended up putting SD on mine.

That makes sense. My dad has one of the best insurance policies so my parents encouraged me to stay on theirs until I was 26 since my job's isn't that great since we are a small company. Now I am very grateful for that because mine is awful and pretty expensive!

futurobrillante99's picture

In the USA, someone USING your insurance does not need your social security number..........ever. You don't even have to share it with the healthcare providers.

It's a different story when YOU are adding people to your insurance. You would need their SSNs perhaps. I know I did when I enrolled XH2 and his sons on my insurance. He and his sons, however, never needed to know my SSN, nor did any of their healthcare providers.

If BM takes SD to the Dr. she only needs info from your insurance card and SHE is the person financially responsible where it asks for that. She can't make you or your DH financially responsible at the Dr. office for anything not covered by insurance. She can ask your DH for 1/2 of anything not covered by insurance, but she can't make anyone else financially responsible.



futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

to tell BM that she needs to put herself as financially responsible on the forms not bf or I, depending who's plan it ends up being.

That makes a lot of sense, thank you for the info!

still learning's picture

In the USA, someone USING your insurance does not need your social security number..........ever. 

Unless the kids are military dependants then EVERYTHING is done by the sponser's SSN.  

justmakingthebest's picture

Not anymore. They have moved to the DOD #. Most doctor's wont even take a social where we are anymore. 

ESMOD's picture

I believe the Dr office called me once years ago for my SSN.. I made it clear tothem that they were not to share it with BM.  The card should be sufficient though.

futurobrillante99's picture

I don't know how it works where you are, but years ago, insurance providers in my area moved away from using social security numbers for ID. Probably as far back as the early 90s was the last time I ever used a SSN for insurance.

"The Privacy Act of 1974, 5 USC §552a is the primary federal law regarding the privacy of SSNs.  The Privacy Act requires government agencies to disclose what use they will make of a requested SSN and their legal authority for requesting the SSN, and it provides that government benefits cannot be denied on basis of refusal to provide SSN unless there is legal authority to request the SSN with some exceptions."

Whenever I get a Dr. form that asks my SSN, I put "private" in that space.

The only time I share my SSN is for an employer or a financial reason.

ESMOD's picture

That is good to know.  It was many years ago when this happened.. so it is likely that they don't ask for this any longer.  I was not the one on the "financial responsibility" paperwork.. so they really shouldn't have needed it for any other reason.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

This is so true! I don't know why doctor and hospital offices still ask for a social. I haven't given mine out to a medical office in over 20 years.

advice.only2's picture

I had Spawn on my insurance, all we needed to provide was a copy of the insurance card, considering Spawn lived with us full time the only time Meth Mouth could take her to the doctor was on her that usually meant a trip to the ER...we had to make it very clear in writing that if Meth Mouth took Spawn into the ER for anything it was on her to pay for the bill. We had to have that added to the child custody order because Meth Mouth liked to take Spawn to the ER so she could get drugs.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Ugh that is terrible! It is ridiculous what people try and do. I don’t know what way it will end up being, but it is something that needs to be thought about ahead since his insurance will be done in May when he gets out so we will have to way our job’s insurance to see which one was better, but didn’t want to offer mine if it was better but could end up bad for me!

simifan's picture

I carried SD on my insurance and carry DS now. I gave the kids the ID Card when they were teens. Other then basic information - who carries insurance, my work name & sometimes address they have never needed anything else. 

fakemommy's picture

The social security number isn't required. Doctors offices ask for this so they have information for collection if accounts are past due. I never fill this out because Doctors offices tend to have really poor security. 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I've needed my dad's date of birth and name, but never ssn.

I think as long as you have sd on the insurance, I'd keep her on your DH's.  Sure it may be a slightly bigger out of cost expense, BUT it may save you some headache and peace of mind Smile

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Because if it's cheaper and better for mine then we will do a family plan on mine, rather than pay out of pocket a lot more so SD is under his name. I have asthma, arthritis, b12 deficiency, etc. my asthma meds can be quite expensive especially. Just wanted to make sure I wouldn't have to give out more info about myself then I'd be willing to before really talking about it being an option!

justmakingthebest's picture

I carried my exSS on my insurance for a while. All we gave BM was a photo copy of the insurance card. I kept the original. That was all any doctor ever needed. I would think that if they have any questions regarding health insurance BM just needs to tell them to contact you directly. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I just after being on here and seeing what can and has happened to other people, just want to make sure I know the possible ramifications and the options before making any decision that BM in some way could cost me/us

Cover1W's picture

The insurance card should be sufficient.  The doctor's office will just verify the names on the coverage plan. 

The SDs doctor's office once demanded my birth date for verification (I don't think BM had the insurance card but that's her problem).  OSD knew it and gave it - I almost called their office to complain but dropped it; if they had called ME I would have only provided the plan coverage number and sent BM another copy of the card with no explanation.

I soon dropped them off my good, affordable plan because DH and BM constantly paid me back for their share late or not at all.  No more of that.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

As my parents never didn't tell me not to put it on the health forms, I didn't know all this for then when on their plan or even on my own, but thanks to all of you, I know this for the future moving forward!

That is frustrating! Bf and I plan to combine finances when we get married, but we are very open already about our finances. Bf also does not pay child support at least right now he doesn't, so I'm not worried about that all just yet but soon down the road I'll be posting on here to get advice on any suggestions etc on that topic. 

Sparkl3s's picture

Skids are on mine and BM does not have my DOB or social. The insurance has been paying out. I signed up notices when claims are paid. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

For myself I have my health insurance app set up, but I don't have it notify me unless insurance denies the claim but if we all end up on mine I'll definitely be setting up for all notifications on it! I mean even if it ends up on bf's, will probably do that too just making sure everything is on the up and up.

still learning's picture

My ex switched the kids over to his new wife's insurance.  Whenever BS visits a new provider he needs to have a copy of the insurance card, his birthdate and the subscribers birthdate. We had multiple problems initially using her insurance. New wife had entered the wrong birthdate for BS, and she and my ex refused to change it or to tell us her birthdate.  Fortunately if you ask serval times someone will give you an answer.  I had a receptionist print out all pertinent information conc BS's plan which includes SM's birthdate, bs's wrong birthdate, her cell, last 4 of her social...etc.  They have no idea I now have all this information and im not telling.  

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Blame you. If you want to put your spouse's kids on your insurance than you need to be willing to do what is necessary to make the children have access to using the health insurance. That's why I wanted to know ahead what that would require of me and if I was comfortable with it before saying it is an option 

still learning's picture

ExH gets a substantial cut in CS due to providing health insurance for them and for the first few visits they were threatening not to pay since we didn't have the correct info.  We had to find new providers since the insurance changed so we had to have all the subscriber's information. I really don't care about any of SM's information but literally have to have it for insurance purposes.  Since I have worked in office environments and with HR I know how to get information.  It was either that or have several unpaid bills, go to court and litigate. In the end they would have had to pay out.  So really they should be thanking me for saving them time and several thousands of dollars.  My advice, give them the info they need (card, your birthdate) and for g-d's sake, make sure all the children's birthdate's are correct on the insurance documents.   

***Edit: Because it is SM that is providing the insurance I did not have to agree to exH getting a reduction in CS. The reduction only applies if the actual parent is providing insurance, at least that is what my lawyer told me.  I was playing nice and allowed him to take the reduction. After all their shenanigans I'm regretting my decision.  Not sure if this applies in your SO's situation but it's something to look into.  

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I am so technical and detail oriented I would never in a million years put anyone's birth date as wrong. I check things like 5 times at a minimum to make sure it is all right haha. 

At this point and time bf does not pay child support. It is in their agreement that bf pays all transportation costs, BM gets to claim SD every year, and SD is on bf's medical insurance because there is no child support, but if either of them go for child support then all of that is to be changed. BM claimed if bf took only summers and holiday break visitation schedule that she didn't want child support. As the Judge made it clear bf wasn't going to get a better schedule than what they were agreeing to, we would have to of gone back to court in 2021 when it just ended in 2020 in order for our CO to be revised for us to move, bf agreed to this. However not holding my breath that when we get married, move and bf has a better job that she won't try and file for child support then.

still learning's picture

and bf has a better job

Yes that could be considered a "Change of Circumstance" which could warrent a CS order.  BM could ask for CS at anytime. The courts wouldn't deny a child the right to support.  

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

And I'm sure she will file for it then.

BM claims she didn't want any support just to have SD during the school year. If/when she goes for support then BM will have to split transportation costs, give up every other year for taxes, etc. which is all stuff she didn't want to do. So only time will tell

still learning's picture

Don't be so sure about her having to give up anything. Often judges prefer to keep the "status quo" rather than to upend everything.  Honestly not trying to rain on your parade, just being realistic.  

Sandybeaches's picture

Be clear on who is responsible for the bill.  My SK's were on my dental insurance.  BM got nothing, I called their dentist and gave the card and number etc.  Because I was the "insured" BM tried to make me responsible for the bill.  She also tried to re-route the explanation of benefit forms for each kid and claim forms to her house   I believe she was trying to get my Social Security number thinking it would be on there.  

Good for me I had already called the dental office and explained the situation.  I also explained she was to get no information about me.  They told me she filled out the form and put my name as the insured and then checked the box that I was the person responsible for the bill.  When DH called her on it she played dumb saying she thought it meant whose insurance it was.  I am not sure she could have made me responsible but before it could get sorted out in court someone could think I was.

That is the thanks I get for insuring her kids.  She never paid any insurance for either kid and she had a better job then I did.