Feel bad for bf, but at least proves point without me needing to say anything
On Monday, for those of you who read my blog know my bf picked up the children from BM and he keeps them till Wednesday morning than drops them back off. I spent Monday with my bf and the children. The older child's behavior started off good and then went downhill while she was eating her tacos. Asked my bf if they were going to mom's tomorrow and my bf said no, you're staying with me tomorrow. She starts saying "I don't want to stay with you" and repeated this four times, my bf did not say a word, finally I couldn't stand it and told her that is not nice to say and she shouldn't say it. Basically with the hearing looming around the corner where he is going to lose rights to her, he didn't know what to say to that because there is really no point at this point. The rest of the night her behavior was terrible, she just really would not listen, would not stop crying over every little thing, she got put in time out, it did not matter. Anyway, I kind of broke and asked my bf between the topic of sexual abuse BM brought up, her behavior, etc. is he just trying to torture himself until his rights are taken away by still taking her? He told me that he doesn't want to stop taking her and then BM's lawyer to say well he abandoned the one child while he still had rights, he will probably abandon the other one, or try and twist something like that as the hearing has not happened yet and the court has not ruled anything. I really did not even think about that honestly, but it makes sense just expressed to him how stressful it has been and it bothers me when anyone treats him badly even when it is a child.
So yesterday, I spent the night apart from my bf, went to a happy hour with my friend which turned into a 5:30 - 10 pm hangout and drink wine. I went home and went to bed. I woke up to a text from my bf this morning saying how he got no sleep, apparently some noise must of woke up the older child while he was trying to fall asleep and basically from 2 am till 6 am, when it's time to get up and get ready, the child would not listen or go back to sleep no matter what he did. Good thing I slept at my own place last night because I work a 9 hour day today and I could not have that happen. We spoke on the phone on our ways to work and he was so bothered by the lack of listening and behavior. To myself I was like well at least if he ever thought I was being dramatic about it, he got first hand on his own how bad the problem really is. So I feel bad and then I also don't, especially when they have nothing going on at work so he is now currently home catching up on sleep because they were dismissed for the day.
If anyone is wondering my bf's lawyer said on the sexual abuse symptoms BM brought up that until/if she makes a report there is not really much to do about it. He said you could call CPS ahead and fill them in that a potential report might be made, but he does not know if that will really help anything. So not really much helpful advice. After the hearing in two weeks my bf has to get a new lawyer anyway (AGAIN, ugh!!!), but his lawyer's mom had a stroke and he is moving out of state to care for her so after this hearing he will not be able to represent him. At least he can be there for a hearing, but super frustrating news.
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Comments
I think the biggest take away
I think the biggest take away from this is a childs life is about the get turned upside down and she's going to lose the man she thought was her father this whole time. That's going to be devastating.
Yes it is entirely devestating
Very much so!
It is very devastating indeed
I am not and never said it was not going to be. However, like my bf has come to accept is 1. this was not his mistake, 2. this was not his fault, 3. he has done everything he could, 4. it is not his responsibility.
Honestly, since this has been going on so long and with BM playing the child as a pawn and has been playing games and bragging basically to my bf that it is not his biological child, I have taken my emotions out of it. It is better for everyone, even the child because BM already is playing games with the child has been for a year telling her that my bf is not her dad, last week asked my bf who her dad was, the younger child asked who her sister's dad is. It is VERY sad and unfortunate. But at the end of it all, the person who's at the root of it all and is the creator of it all is BM.
Wouldn't it be the biggest FU
Wouldn't it be the biggest FU to her.. if it turns out he IS the father?
EXCEPT
he already did an at home paternity text 1.5+ years ago and he is not. It is not even possible that he is. The courts need a court ordered test by a reputable lab which he just went and got done on Monday. Not going to like Maury though and be like "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!!!!!"
This woman shouldn't have
This woman shouldn't have custody of any of her children. A mother that can lie, manipulate and play with their children's emotions like this is pure evil. She has no idea how much therapy these girls will need in order to recover from all the trauma she's subjecting them to. I feel for any child that has to be raised by her and scared for what the future holds.
I hope that everything works out for your BF and the kids favor. Maybe one day the oldest will get the opportunity to know who her biological father is since her mother hasn't a clue
This!!! These mothers don't
This!!! These mothers don't know and don't care how much they are hurting their kids. And of course, the courts protect them.
she is
100% evil. She has done nothing except for show that she is evil and tries to look as though she is nothing but the victim. It is really really bad, sure not drug abusing or physically abusive to them, but emotionally? Without a doubt.
Thank you! I sure hope so too. Maybe one day she will, maybe one day she won't. Again that is all up to BM, but again I am torn on whether she either doesn't know who it is or if she thought my bf would be a better dad/provider so she was like I am married so let's just go with it's his until my true nature comes to light and he divorces me then I am going to rub it all in his face, take her away, and then I'll be her only parent. Literally wouldn't be surprised by either
If your BF is not this kid bio father
He really has no rights to this child. And with BM crying sexual abuse, He can be in a really bad place. Law wise.
You are going to lose any ties with this child sooner or later. I don’t know why BF keeps hitting his head against the wall for no good result.
With the
hearing 13 days away, he just doesn't want BM and her lawyer to twist anything by not taking her/not acting as a parent in the mean time. Her lawyer and her are sleazy and I could totally see them doing it so I understand. However, the one night while they are there apart may become both nights if the child's behavior is going to be that way from now to then. I do not have the luxury of napping during the day to catch up on lost sleep and there is enough stress already, don't need more added, so we will see what next week brings, but thinking about staying at my own place those nights until the hearing.