Feedback wanted - My last blog got me wondering
what everyone's stories are revolving around getting engaged and married to their DH. As many of you know, bf's custody schedule is every spring break, 6 weeks of summer, and every other christmas after September 1. My bf and I are not engaged yet, but it is coming soonish. How soon? I have no idea and I like it that way. My only request to bf was for it to not be within a month of two of the divorce being finalized. May seem a little silly since I am 100% about him and us, but just didn’t want to jump right into being engaged, I wanted to enjoy the fact that the divorce is finally over and enjoy there not being that stressor so present in our lives. Okay, actually had two requests, my other request was before we move to the opposite coast that we at least be engaged beforehand. Again, not that I don’t have trust in us and our relationship, but it would make me feel more stable about the choice and I think it would make my family feel better about it too.
So one thing that has been on my mind is once we do get engaged, when should we actually get married? I know this is a discussion I will obviously have with bf and we have talked about a little bit, but I don’t want to get into too much details until we are actually engaged. I think it would be helpful for me to have my head on straight on what REALLY does and should matter when we have this discussion. So for example, we will be moving next May. I am hesitant to get married after we move because 90% of our guest list lives on the east coast. A handful of the people we invite live on the west coast. So in my brain I am like, should we get married before we leave? Should we get married on the east coast after we move to the west? Or should we ask everyone we want to go to fly to the west coast and accept not everyone will be able to come?
Then the other issue is, I know bf and BM got married in April, so as stupid as it may sound letting their past play a part in our future, I really do not want to get married in the same month they did. There is also the issue of SD, personally, I always envisioned her as the flower girl, she’s young and I have been in her life since right before she turned 2. We only get her specific times of the year though, so do I want to plan a big part of our wedding around when we have SD?
I am an A+ worrier, if you couldn’t tell so some of these things I feel like I shouldn’t be worried about now, but at the same time, it is less than a year before we leave and I don’t want to go into the conversation of planning with my emotions all over the place. Will probably go better if I can identify the key parts that I feel very strongly about. I am hoping some insight into other people’s experience will be helpful!
The more I have typed this out though the more to me seems best to elope before we leave, then plan a wedding that includes SD and everyone else, but still don’t know what would be best in regards to which coast. Anyways, ladies give me some advice, please! Also, this is so much on my mind since my co-worker just got engaged last week, my best friend’s just told me they are pregnant and buying a house, etc. so very much on my mind!