CPS, any advice anyone could provide, please!
Well, today is not a good day. On the 4th of July, we took the children ages 4 and 2 to the park. At this park there is a rock climbing wall on the side of the jungle gym. Sometimes, the children like to climb it and lately have been wanting to on their own. The two year old wanted to do it by herself, which she has done many many times. My bf and I were standing there watching, but not in arms distance as we have been comfortable with them climbing it after doing so successfully so many times. Well, after she was about chest high, she fell off the rock wall and landed on her butt/side. Well, she got pretty nasty bruising on her right side and on her left butt cheek. Due to the ex being trigger happy calling cps in the past we were torn about whether to send them to their mom's on Sunday because we did not want her making it out to be something it was not. We also felt that if anything it might be suspicious if we didn't send them as we did not have a legitimate reason why and did not think a day or two would heal the bruising completely. So we sent them and my bf explained to the BM what happened at drop off.
Found out this morning, that apparently the BM has been having them see a counselor and that the 4 year old said to the counselor that dad spanked the younger one, that is how she got the bruising and also in addition said things like she is scared of daddy, etc. CPS got involved and told the BM to keep the kids until further notice. My bf, does not have his voicemail set up and does not answer calls from unknown numbers, so of course he missed their attempts to contact him last night. We also stayed at my place last night and apparently they went to his door to look for him. So now he is trying to get in contact with CPS and get this resolved.
So F*** this is not good. They are about two months away from the divorce and custody being finalized and then this pops up. We had no idea they were seeing a counselor, which is fine, there is nothing to hide, but the BM wants to know EVERY little detail and then pulls moves like this. Apparently the 4 year old also said some wild sh** to the counselor which is definitely fed to her by BM because they are simply not true. Plus the BM feeds things to the 4 year old which gets back to us. Such as "I don't have a daddy," "there will be no more daddy," "mommy is taking us away to the new house where there will be no more daddy," plus there is the fact of the time the two children ran out the front door and down the road because they were "running away from mommy," plus more. Regrettably now, my bf did not call CPS on her, even though she has on him 3 times and the police on him, with every time being nothing found because her claims are false.
This feels serious now about the fact that they told her to keep the kids till further notice. Although, my bf has only talked to BM thusfar so I told him to take everything she says with a grain of salt. Feel like she's been playing a power move for months just trying to f*** my boyfriend. So any advice, anyone can give or anything would be great.
***Edit: my bf does spank the kids sometimes, but with the 3 fingers CPS has suggested and only a few times. He even told CPS he does spank when they misbehave and that is when they told him okay and suggested to use 3 fingers instead because it gets the point across, but makes sure you never do actually hurt them.
***UPDATE: He just left the CPS office and talked to the counselor. The kids were placed in only her care until they were able to speak with my bf, they did not want to release them into his care before they got to speak to him. It has now been uplifted and he is picking them up in the morning tomorrow. Apparently the 4 year old told the counselor that my bf spanks them with a golden spoon...when neither of us even owns a golden spoon and he has never spanked them with any objects.
In regards to the CPS worker saying the 3 finger thing, the CPS worker today wanted to know exactly who said that to him because yeah apparently they are not supposed to be saying anything like that. So they will be looking her up now.
In regards to spanking, everyone has their own opinions on that. A few spanks on the butt when the child is wearing a diaper or clothing, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Usually when he does that is because one of the children hit the other or something like that, discpline is usually a time out for the amount of minutes as they are old. I was spanked as a child and I suffer no emotional or physical issues or anything. I am sorry if you have a problem with spanking, but he never leaves a mark because he never spanks them hard or anything like that. So anyone (especially addressing the one who already accused the marks are from spanking), no the bruising is not from spanking or anything like that.
In regards to the climbing wall, it is more than 24 inches high. I am 5'4 and she fell from about my shoulder height, so yes, it is going to leave bruises falling that far and directly on your butt. Also, we don't believe in discouraging their independence and putting fear in them. They are capable of climbing the rock wall, it is a kid one not an adult like normal one and have so many times before. Yes, we should of been standing closer, but we used to all the time and there was never a problem and she did not want us close because she was a "big girl" doing it herself.