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Court is finally tomorrow and BM is acting like it isn't

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

As if we are not on edge enough with the pendete lite hearing tomorrow, BM is over here acting like an idiot. Since August, BM and my bf have been working out a sort of schedule amongst themselves regarding custody until the October hearing which is tomorrow regarding temporary custody, the genetic testing results, child support etc. so for the past few weeks we have had the children Monday - Wednesday usually. At the exchange last week, my bf did not say when the next time for pick up and BM did not ask. My bf had figured as the court date falls between what has been his time, he was not going to get them so he did not have to play the game of going to get the child or children from day care to bring to BM based on judges orders, would be best and easier on everyone that way. We decided it would probably be best to not even bring up the subject with BM so it did not give her any ammo in court against him for refusing his time with the children or anything.

Checked the phone he uses to communicate with her last night and no text from her and he did not text her anything. This morning he wakes up to a text that had to of been sent late last night saying the older child isn't feeling well, you can pick up the younger child tomorrow or we can chantge up the days when she feels better..... then this morning "hope your ok. Just let me know what works better for you." ...... BM do you not realize there is a hearing tomorrow where the judge is supposed to take my bf's rights away to the older child and put a schedule in place until the divorce hearing in two months?!?! Like what planet are you on thinking that forever until the divorce is finalized you will be working out the schedule together and thinking the older child is still part of the equation, like I just really don't get it.

On one hand I am not optimistic because my bf's attorney did prepare him that the judge COULD, but probably won't postpone deciding a schedule tomorrow to review everything then make a decision in a week or two. Which I prefer going in knowing what can happen even if unlikely so we are not blindsided, but BM seems to be in this like state of denial constantly and I don't understand. Plus knock off the fake shit, you don't care if he is doing okay and he doesn't want you thinking about him and his well being whatsoever. Anyways, from now until my bf calls me after the hearing tomorrow, going to be on edge and anxious. I really really hope that the judge makes a decision tomorrow and my bf's lawyer stands up for him if the other side tries to delay anything like they keep trying. It has been two months since the last court appearance and this gray area sucks. Especially when I have seen already how family court sucks and is slow moving, so not very optimistic

 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Sorry, hope it's resolved tomorrow, or at least partially.

Around here, they never issue their orders immediately, you wait weeks to months to get them in the mail. It's awful.

 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

According to my bf's lawyer since it is a temporary order it should be issued tomorrow, but it can be post poned. Really crossing my fingers that it is not. Would be nice to be able to plan the upcoming holidays at the very least since the actual trial for divorce is January 14 & 15. I am a planner and I want to get out of this limbo stage, end this emotional game, and just get this all ready to move forward.

bananaseedo's picture

Remind me again-I've been waiting for your court date too!  Did your DH get the testing done and do they have results? What was tomorrow's hearing, to review results/determine rights to his daughter or which part?

 

 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

So yes, he got the testing done at the end of September. The results apparently do not go directly to my bf, but we already know from his home testing that the child is not his. Tomorrrow's hearing is the rescheduled pendete lite hearing for temporary custody schedule. The original one was in August and because BM's lawyer told the judge the older child is not his, the judge ordered the genetic testing to be done before the temporary custody hearing could be done because the judge cannot make a court order of any kind until the paternity was established or in this case disestablished.

According to my bf's lawyer, the judge should rule tomorrow the child is not his and put an order in to disestablish his rights and for the birth certificate to be changed, as well as put a temporary custody order and child support order for the younger daughter. However, my bf's lawyer said the judge could postpone a decision to be made for a week or two for the judge to review for child support and custody, but the older child not being his should be addressed tomorrow. It all comes down to the judge. 

I really hope my bf's lawyer will push for a decision to be made as it has been 2 months since the original hearing, the testing has been done, and with the holidays coming up, I think it is in everyone's best interest some progress be made. Unfortunately I am not the judge or versed in family court, so just anxiously wishing it was 10 am tomorrow already to find out what the hell is happening next. haha.

ESMOD's picture

I wonder if they will ask your DH if he wants to be in the girl's life as her father.. and if so.. would he allow and order her as part of the CO?

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

And the answer is no he is not going to be. BM already has proven she takes pleasure in rubbing it in his face that he is not her father and he's accepted that BM will always use the child to play mind games and in the end just hurts her and my bf. 

crazycatlady1's picture

If they can be postponed it will. She already told you the little one is sick. The BM we have to deal always pulls every extension and then some with the courts. I had my hopes up for court when we were fighting for more custody. It hurts. I started preparing for the worst then when something good came out it, it was a win. Hoping you get all that you want. 

shamds's picture

should regularly take a kid to stay in your home using up your resources and household budget when they are not a member of your household yet alone related....  and the fact bio mum thinks he should and tries to force his hand... just mind boggling