Child asks me how many daddy's her sister has
So this morning, as we are about to walk out the door, my bf, myself and the two children, the older child asks me if her sister only has one daddy. I thought that is what she said, but was not sure so I asked her, "what did you ask (child's name)?" and she repeats the question "does she have only one daddy?" I was not sure what was the best answer other than "yes (child's name)." Then out the door we went to go to work/school. Part of me wanted to ask her something about if she only had one daddy to find out what BM has been telling the child, but my curiosity was outweighed by not wanting to make things any more confusing or cause any more emotional damage than BM has already done. My bf heard the entire thing and I turned to him, I didn't know what to say and he said "no one does."
So yeah just sharing that little tid bit because it has to of been a topic BM has been talking about with the child or she overheard BM saying something about the child in relation to who her dad is. It kind of broke my heart that a four year old is asking these questions.
EDIT : I shouldn't of assumed everyone has been tracking my story. The child asking is NOT my bf's kid and is going to be taken away from him next week once the genetic testing results are brought into evidence then. So the reason I'm sensitive to this question is because the child is not my bf's child and BM has been telling the kid confusing things already about my bf who this whole time the kid thought was her daddy. The week prior she said my mommy said you're not my daddy but you're (younger child)'s daddy
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Comments
That BM is some kind of bitch
That BM is some kind of bitch.
Not that I need validation of that
But sure feels good to hear others not emotionally involved in the situation to confirm I'm not crazy for thinking that too lol
She really is some kind of
She really is some kind of bitch. Will openly and obviously hurt her own child just to control her ex.
She’s definitely trying to
Control him, EXCEPT it isn't working so she should realize this and be a good mom and stop hurting the child more !!!
There is the biological
There is the biological answer to that question.. which is it takes one mommy and one daddy to "make" a baby.
Then there is the philosophical answer that some kids have more than one person that fills the daddy role. Sometimes daddy can't be there all the time so other people help be daddies to kids so that they grow up good.
I’ve experienced similar
When I was married to my XH and my 20 year old was born, my SS3 at the time was so confused on where she came from and could only gather that she was mine and she didn't have a dad. It took him a good year to realize. Lol. Not saying your BM over there isn't saying weird things just saying I know from experience it can just come out of curiosity and confusion too. Kids lol
Please
See my update above and it'll make sense
Do the girls have stepdad? Or
Do the girls have stepdad? Or does BM have a live in bf? I'm just asking because they may see it as having two moms and two dads....
the other possibility ( this is one I'm dealing with) is BM plays the pathetic victim and presses the "I'm your only really mommy that loves you" crap. It's all insecurity. Instead of her being happy that there is another adult in her child's life looking out for her... she is insecure and wants to make sure the kid does not "replace her" (*fool*
this insecurity projection can cause a lot of confusion.
That totally makes sense
Under usual circumstances please see my edit above for clarification on why this was bothersome
There was a show, or a segment a long time
I think with Art Linkletter, titled Kids Say the Darnest Things. Following a 4 Year old logic can be a maze. Not to say no one is saying strange things to the kid, but kids do go down their own paths at times.
See above
My edit, it will make more sense then
BM is a nasty piece of work , that's for sure.
How heartbreaking. I mean, really! You know what she should do, what a sane normal person would do, would be to accept the divorce. Get a job/career/schooling to support herself and her children so that she doesn't have to chase after alimony and child support. Let your bf be in her life even though there is no money changing hands. But she has to play games.
She isn’t going to get any alimony
They were married less than five years and he paid her $600 a month for a year per the marine court order for support. She's an idiot she really thought/maybe probably still thinks she will live off alimony and child support but she will only get support for one child, not the other and she won't get alimony.
With an ex like this he can't be in the child's life because she has made it clear she will always use her as a pawn and play games. She will never not do that.
but I agree she needs to move on!! It's over and it's been over and it was over before we even met so no one to blame but herself