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BM's lies about doctors and vaccinations

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

So if you read my last blog update, I went into some detail regarding BM being difficult in regards to sharing medical information. So after getting all the info from the doctor BM takes bf's daughter to and taking it to the doctor he has always been taking her to, bf's daughter got a physical on Friday. The doctor also printed off the updated immunization records for his daughter and when he got home we looked over them. Guess what? BM lied about his daughter getting the flu shot and being up to date on her shots. According to the immunization record, since BM has been the primary parent in July, when bf's daughter turned 3, BM did not get her a single shot, even though she was due for shots. Now we know why BM has refused to share any medical information.

On Saturday, bf and I uploaded the updated immunization records to the co-parenting app so BM would have a copy and messaged her saying, you told me she received the flu shot and was up to date on her shots, but you have not taken her to get any shots since you have been the primary parent. BM responds saying she was confused, daughter must of gotten blood work not shots and BM's older daughter got the flu shot, but she didn't get bf's daughter the shot, it is easy to get confused..... HOW DO YOU CONFUSE BLOOD WORK AND SHOTS?!?! Also, why would you get one of your children a flu shot and not the other?!?... Then BM sends a picture of a upcoming appointment for today (2/10) and on it says vaccinations for the reason for appointment... so bf says to BM, daughter is all up to date on shots so you do not need to take her to the appointment Monday. BM says I am going to keep the appointment, I need to get her papers filled out for school. Bf tells her how he just got her a physical the day before and if she just takes the paperwork to the doctor, they will fill it out for her and she will be good to go. BM basically shut that idea down, said she is keeping the appointment, and now that school is starting up she is "getting organized." So now today bf is calling the doctor on the paper she sent a picture of to make sure they have an updated immunization record so his daughter does not get vaccinated twice since BM is so careless. Mind you, bf just told BM Friday and retold her Saturday via messages on the app that his insurance only covers on base care (bf is military) and anything off base, she will have to pay 100% out of pocket. Guess who doesn't care or doesn't believe him? BM. 

Then at drop off, bf asks BM if she has taken his daughter to the dentist because the doctor said now he should take her, BM says that is what the appointment on Monday is for... the paper literally says DOCTOR and says VACCINATIONS ... wtf... then she says oh nevermind, you have to set that up... BM just constantly lies through her teeth it is not even funny.

It should not take the start of school to get a parent "organized" regarding their child's health and cannot get "confused" regarding shots, etc. Meanwhile, the first week of week on and week off, bf got all the child needs accomplished in a day, when BM has had since July to do, but has refused to. Bf gave BM a hard copy of the shot record in person yesterday, it is uploaded to the app now, and all the medical discussions were in writing at least so if need be, BM can't continue to play dumb about it.


**Edit: I forgot to add too BM then went on to say the doctor told her to wait until March to get his daughter the flu shot... which all of us should know here is a lie when the flu season is the fall and winter. 


lieutenant_dad's picture

Keep all this documentation and communication. Right now, your BF has control of his parenting, which is awesome. But in a year or so when it's time to settle custody and where SD will live, you'll need proof of BM not being able to parent effectively to help minimize her damage and possibly get primary custody.

BM is going to keep lying, so your BF just needs to keep sticking to the facts and reporting the facts through the parenting app. He needs to keep a trail of BM not being able to adequately care for SD.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

It is week on/week off until June 1 of this year. Then we have her 100% June 1 - September 1, then she will be at BM's who is moving out of state except for we have her every other christmas, every spring break, and every summer. Best case what we can do is just document her lack of taking care of her medical needs and keep track of her school attendance then later go back to get a flip, but we already know it will take lots of instances demonstrating BM's inadequacy .

That is what we are going to continue trying to do, document especially via the app so it is in writing, her excuses and lies!

beebeel's picture

Besides the flu shot, she wouldn't have any other vaccines scheduled at 3 unless she delayed her 2 yo shots...