Birthdays

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Both my boyfriend and I have birthdays in July, 12 days apart to be exact, although he is two years older than me. This year for his birthday, I took him yesterday when we did not have the skids on a mountain horse back ride. He has not been on a horse in about 10+ years, but used to have a horse and love to ride. It was so much fun and now we are talking about in the fall doing a half a day right at the same ranch to see all the leaves change. His actual birthday is this week and I have a few gifts to give him and am taking him and the skids out to dinner on the actual day. 

As for mine, he is taking me to the beach for 3 days! I am very excited especially since it will just be the two of us. The trip we took in January, we took the skids with us, and don't get me wrong we had a great time, but I am thrilled to get away with just him especially since it is my birthday. 

Currently we are waiting the 21 day period that his ex and her lawyer have to respond to his settlement offer. If they do not, then my bf goes in front of the judge, he signs off, and it is all over. We have been waiting since June 18th, so far, they have not responded at all, so I am crossing my fingers, they don't and this can just be all done and over with, without any back and forth nonsense, but I am not going to be too optimistic as they still have some time that they could respond. 

Due to this gray area of not having a court order, my bf told the BM that he was going away for a few days and gave her the dates and told her flat out if she wants to have them at all that weekend, she would have to take them at this time on Friday and pick up this time Monday morning if not then they were coming with him. She got back to him that she took those days off and now we get to have a couple get away Smile So crossing my fingers that things can continue to go my way for a change because I have felt like this whole divorce process has been nothing, but bad news every time and there is an opportunity for perhaps some positive news! 

Comments

pickles45's picture

Be careful telling BM too much. My SO never tells her when we have plans. It would give her the chance to mess up our plans.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

all he told her is he is going out of town from this date to this date and either she takes them or they go with him. He currently has primary custody so he is able to do that. He did this in the past for other things and it has worked out because BM knows she will not get the children on those dates/she has to have the children once a decision is made. On regular decision making when not involving out of town, that is a different story. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

and unless one of the children is in the emergency room, my bf would not put off our plans. Plus, BM cannot afford the emergency room, when starting this month she went from $600 a month in spousal support mandatory by the military, to $100 a month, she just moved into a new apartment where she's paying for two bedrooms instead of one, and she is responsible for medical care while in her custody (she has never taken them to the doctors, always has demanded my bf take the children to the doctors). She simply can't just toss in an ER visit to try and f*** over my boyfriend, especially when she's never honest he would want proof they are really there before any moves were made. I really am not worried about her trying to mess up our plans.

shamds's picture

Hubby is alwaysinforming his skids the specific dates. Ss21 lives with us when not at uni and hubby tells his 2 daughters aged 23.5 and 14.5. They are spies for bio mum and report everything so now they know what country and city we are going to and what dates

magically when they have ceased all contact with daddy, they want extraordinary favours and to buy gifts for them and favours for their mums family that hubby had no contact with even when he married their mum because they’re dysfunctional and batshit crazy.

its like they’re so dysfunctional and can’t maintain a healthy relationship with dad but they can’t stand to see see daddy do normal family things with his wife and our 2 kids.

even last month i flew overseas as an emergency my dad was seriously ill and admitted to hospital. Hubby had to tell the sd’s how i flew to my hometown because my dad was very sick and admitted to hospital and was operated on. This for me is a serious breach of privacy. For starters its none of there business to be informed where i am, the specifics of why i am overseas and all those details. 

They are not family and shouldn’t be privy to that info but hubby has a havit of slipping up. In reality a simple “your stepmum is overseas with your 2 halfsiblings” is all thats needed. When skids ask daddy why, “its none of your business to know” is all that is needed or ignore their message

there are major disrespect of boundary and privacy issues with my stepkids so i do not participate in any family events or meet ups for this very reason

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

about to be 3 and 5, they have no idea we are even going anywhere so luckily that is not something to be worried about. I am sure as children, they hear and repeat things as we hear things now and then from the older child sometimes. Frankly, unless it is something that directly impacts the children, we could care less what the BM is doing. Definitely will be something to be considered in the future though when they are old enough! I am just excited for a vacation with my man, at my favorite place = the beach, and get to do adult only things. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

What a great birthday gift!!

Just in case though, have a Plan B for childcare. These BMs are not above cutting off their noses to spite their face.

 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

And yeah, I will definitely think of a plan b, just in case!