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Bf, the military, COVID-19, and BM

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Mostly off topic, but also has to do with step life too. So as most of you know, my bf is in the marine corps. Some of you know how in the PSA, BM was supposed to be moving back to her home state between June 1 & September 1 of this year, for bf to drop off SD at home state on September 1. Well, as of right now, BM is staying in VA, so drop off will be in VA, not the other state. Originally, bf, myself, and SD were going to travel to the home state at the end of August to visit bf’s dad, drop off SD, then go and do some other things around the area. BM not moving put a bit of a wrench in our plan in staying in VA, but then we decided we will just return on August 30th to drop off SD to BM. Bf had put in leave from work for a week to do this trip. Well, my bf’s company (may even be the wrong word, hard for me to keep track), put out last week that they are in Phase 0 of the COVID-19 plan…. Meanwhile VA is about to enter Phase 3… They had to sign a paper saying that they are not traveling anywhere outside of their home, getting groceries, gas, going to work, etc, that they are not visiting with any family or anyone that is not a DEERS registered dependent, and all these other things, no matter what the federal and state government says is okay. This is all in effect until the marine corps says it is not and if they break any of those things that they agree that they will be up for whatever administrative punishment is given. Plus does not matter if they sign or not because they all were given a copy. You got to be f**king kidding me right? So in other words, technically, my bf should not be at our apartment with me whether we are both on the lease or not because we are not married.


So there goes our plan in July to visit my family for a week and his dad in August. I will still be going to see my family actually for a bit longer now because bf, myself, and SD will go up on a Friday, bf will stay the weekend then go back to work for the week to then come back the next weekend. As for seeing his dad, that will have to wait till the fall or winter because they are saying this might be in order until November. I feel bad for bf’s dad because the whole point was for him to see SD while we had her. The only way we could still maybe go is if BM was moving to the state she was supposed to because then we would just have to submit these papers with the address of where we are taking SD and that BM will not come get the child because it is in their custody order, bf does all the transportation, etc. So basically bf and in turn me in some ways are grounded by the military because the colonel of my bf’s company enacted this stupid ruling now, but when it was all popping off badly in March, April, and May, said no you still need to come to work and I don’t care what the state says about social distancing or any of it. Ugh, I am not even trying to blame BM because whatever, she decided not to move, we think because she met someone, but this is not her fault. 


Also, in case anyone was wondering, BM called SD for the first time in two weeks this weekend.


justmakingthebest's picture

Yeah, Big Navy has been like that since March. It sucks. He can't go more than 75 miles from the ship and he isn't allowed to do 3/4 of the stuff we do anyway. Travel is out though, we have had to cancel so much stuff! 


futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

They are allowed to go up to 250 miles, BUT they aren't allowed to interact with anyone that is not in their company or their DEERS registered dependenets or go in anywhere that is outside of home, getting gas, work, and groceries, so why is there this 250  mile cap, if you aren't supposed to interact with anyone or do anything? 

I commend you, I could not be a military wife, we are counting down the days until he gets out in May next year. Bright side is we will spend less money on pet care while gone since he won't be gone the whole week and at least he gets to see my family and do stuff on the weekends (without the military knowing of course). So he will still meet my dad's extended family he has never met before because one of the weekends is my sister's graduation party. Still feel bad he will drive 3 hours up and 3 hours back twice, but it is what it is at this point

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

bf's company in the marine corps, except barbershops, they want them to still get haircuts, but can't go anywhere else!

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

but now since babershops are open in VA, they are to get one every pay period! 

Not supposed to interact with someone in the marine corps that is not part of his company, but you better go to the barber! haha

tog redux's picture

As hard as it is, it kind of makes sense, given all of the activities listed have caused Covid to spread more in almost all states - and having a large amount of military service members out of commission at once with Covid would not be a good thing. 


futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

is that my bf's company has had MANY cases of COVID-19 because they were acting as if things are normal. So now they made these rules for them, okay fine, but it ONLY applies to the staff, not the students. So the students my bf and others are teaching, can do whatever, but then the people teaching cannot, so they are getting exposed through the students. It just does not make sense.

tog redux's picture

Yeah, that doesn't seem like it makes sense. But all over the country, people have been acting like it's normal and COVID is no big deal, even after watching what New York went through - and now the rates are skyrocketing in some states. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

people are acting like things are normal and they should not be. I have hung out with two sets of friends, both who work from home and social distance, and until June, we 100% were social distancing, now we have let up a little, but I am not going to be going anywhere there are crowds, etc. 

So I totally get it about trying to avoid allowing them to attend crowded events or other risky places, but when you are allowing half of the co-workers to have a free for all, doing who knows what, but then mandating the other half that they cannot go anywhere, do anything, see anyone, you are not really protecting them from COVID.... limiting exposure to a degree, yes, but you have no idea where or who the other people have come in contact with.

tog redux's picture

Well, I don't know bupkis about the military - but maybe they don't have the authority to mandate that for the students? Hopefully they are at least wearing masks to protect themselves.

I have hung out with friends in our backyard, played golf with my mother and have gone to a family b-day party - all allowed under the guidelines of my state. No way am I going to be in a crowd anywhere.

They are saying now that young people make up 35% of those now testing positive.  And it's the bars and other crowded situations driving that, no doubt.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

either haha. Everytime I think I get the terminology right or something bf is like wel it doesn't quite work like that haha. 

Yes they are wearing masks at least!

I have not been to a bar, but I have been to both a brewery and winery, all outside, and limited interaction with the people working there, that was nice and made it feel like normal!

I have been seeing that too! I keep seeing it about bars, I am just waiting to hear how the protests effected the numbers honestly

tog redux's picture

Yeah, the protests will affect them for sure.  They are saying now that masks make a huge difference in transmission, so that's good.

Some places opened early and have had hundreds of people packed into nightclubs.  Seems crazy to me.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

If I were to get it, even though I wore a mask would be from work last week. I had an install at a project last week where they were still doing construction so was around contractors, installers, movers, deliveries, etc. I wore a mask and did the COVID protocol, but still was a lot of in and out of different people. 

ItsGrowingOld's picture

About the protests....   I live in the Minnesota metro area.  Almost all protesters wore masks and we have not seen a spike in new cases and our testing was significantly increased too.  Just thought I would put this out there.  Masks work!!!

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I have seen smaller protests in the DMV (DC, Maryland, Virginia area), but definitely not all were wearing masks. I heard a rumor that in August, there is to be a MASSIVE protest here in DC. I can gurantee you, I will not be going anywhere that day!

Appreciate the input though!

advice.only2's picture

Be thankful, here in CA they just locked Military back down, they can only go work and home. Civilians are strongly encouraged to adhere to the same standards so we pretty much only get to go to work and home.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

to CA for certain training for a few days or weeks and they have been making them quarantine before and after returning, so I can only imagine how it is there!