I am offically done posting on/commenting/looking at this site for a long while after my last post and after a few other posts of late I have seen where a vast majority are being torn down and people are just giving subjective opinions without reading the facts. So I am going to give my facts here about my situation, you don't like them, that is fine, but at the very least it should clear up some things with some of you who think I am selfish and my boyfriend doesn't want his children apparently.

1). Yes, both me and my boyfriend are happy that his stbx is moving states away. That is because she is a HCBM, at this point in time, she does not even know where my boyfriend lives and his lawyer told him he doesn't have to/shouldn't tell her because if not she would be showing up causing issues/calling CPS or cops causing issues too. She has called CPS on him SEVERAL times making COMPLETE false accusations, so putting distance between her and us, is a good thing. It was also inevitable because my boyfriend needs to move to the other coast for a job when he gets out of the military so he can financially support his children and have a better life for everyone. This is NOT ME saying we are moving or we should move, etc. I can work basically ANYWHERE. Just because we both do not want BM to DICTATE where we live, does not make him a dad who does not want his children or me a gf who wants them gone, I really dont. The arrangement of school year vs. holidays/breaks was something decided BEFORE I came into the picture. I AM NOT giving my opinion on what he should do or ANYTHING like that because I am just his gf.

2.) Yes, we have been together for ONLY 8 months and even though we don't live together we spend 5-6 days together a week, every week together. BTW all the adults in this equation RENT an apartment, there is no martial home or whatever. I am around the children MORE than the BM, but I NEVER said she wasn't their mother or that I KNOW how to take care of them better than she does. ALL I said was that you can tell the change in the children from when they come back from BMs place. In addition to the "no more daddy" comments, they come back exhausted no matter morning or night from her place, as if they barely slept, slamming things/throwing things if they do not get their way, disrespectful, saying other things like "cut you up like chicken," to my bf never to me, etc. I had asked my boyfriend a few months ago about if the courts do have anyone come out to the homes of both parents before trial. He said he didn't know, but his lawyer would know, so it is nothing like he is against it or anything, I had brought it up before and since one of the comments mentioned it, I was curious about how that works. BAD MOVE apparently on me for being curious on how things work because I didn't know, yeah I DO NOT live there, but that doesn't mean I am not allowed to be curious. I also have suggested counseling may be helpful, especially for the older one. He has begun to look into it a little bit, but has not pulled the trigger and I am not going to overstep my boundary and do more than nudge him on it here and there.

3.) Yes, both of us think BM is an UNFIT parent, but there is only so much that the courts actually take into consideration. I am aware of this. I mentioned the clothing thing as an example of she cannot even put the children in clothes that fit/are right for the weater/etc. that was ALL. Especially when she tries to sit there and claim she is most fit parent. Never said lets call CPS on this. The drugs, she got caught with weed and they did not test the white stuff around her nose because it was on the military base and she is a civilian. Which later my bf found out they could of and should of tested her, but they didn't. The lawyer said because weed is the only thing they really found, it wouldn't make a huge impact to help him win custody. The scissors and running away, yes obviously that is not enough unless it happens repeatedly, ALL i was saying is there things that happen on her watch FREQUENTLY but not the same thing, that shows she does not supervise them like she should be, and NOTHING like that happens when they are with dad. These are all just small examples, sorry I am NOT laying out every single example of things that happen/have happened, but in the end DO NOT give much of an upperhand to my boyfriend for winning primary custody. 

4.) No, I AM NOT buzzing in my boyfriends ear or trying to call the shots in any capacity. ALL I am doing here is listening to him, letting him vent, asking some questions, but NOT influencing his decisions on what happens in regards to custody or how we get there. My boyfriend is worried that if he goes to trial to fight the arrangment BM wants that he will end up getting less in the CO than he would of gotten if they went to mediation and agreed on some things. He does NOT want to drag the children through a nasty drawn out divorce and honestly, I don't think he can mentally handle doing so especially if in the end he loses because he is the father and not the mother. That in any way does not mean he is not interested in being their dad and because I am not sitting here saying don't let BM move or anything like that, does not mean I want the girls to be shipped off so him and I can start over. I just DO NOT want my boyfriend to resent me later because I influenced him in any capacity. It has to all be HIS decisions on how he proceeds. 

5.) YES, we have been together ONLY 8 months and YES the divorce isn't finalized, but I am not just some side chick trying to run his world or household. I DO help out with the kids a lot, not in the watching them capacity, I have watched them twice because I offered to in times that it wasn't in the best interest for the girls to go with him in the car for hours to pick up something/run an errand, to just turn around and drive hours back so we stayed home and played instead. I do help in getting them ready for the day/bed most of the time, I help cook for them sometimes, etc. I participate in the day to day in their lives, most of the time at my own discretion. I do it because I care about them and I know it helps my boyfriend out, but it is not EXPECTED of me as I am just the girlfriend of less than a year who does not live with him. Sure, he might ask me to do their hair or something here and there, but I enjoy doing it and it is optional. We all went on vacation together in January, he had the option to give them to BM or to take them with us, I said we would both be disappointed if they didn't come since. Especially when we already picked activities they would enjoy, got a air bnb with bunk beds for them, etc. they were part of our vacation plan from the beginning and we would regret not bringing them. 

So in conclusion, if you think I am some selfish unrealistic delusional woman because I am concerned for their wellbeing, but am happy the BM is moving, and I am not trying to influence how the custody gets worked out, but am instead just being supportive of my boyfriend, then that is your opinion, but there was a lot of things that were twisted around from my last blog and wanted to at least lay out the actual facts. Do with it what you will, but I don't feel bad about being a support system and I don't feel bad that I think BM moving would be less drama for everyone. 

**EDIT: Also, I only said it being a good thing about while they are already filing/sorting out custody, it is a good thing she is moving now so we don't have to refile, is because the lawyer said financially it would be better for my bf and because in the eyes of the court it would look better if she was the one moving out of state first, then him. I was just reiterating what the lawyer has said about moving/out of state.