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Back to reality

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Well, last night we got back from our trip to the beach for my birthday. It was so much fun and so relaxing! Definitely in general was needed after the past week's events. We made a rule we were not to talk about the things going on at all during the trip, just focus on our time together and enjoying the beach. We were very good and followed that except maybe two comments that were made, but it was a one and done sort of comment, we didn't discuss it any further than that. My bf wishes I could of just taken off of work today at the last minute and extended our trip, but as I took off Friday and we have a lot of deadlines this week, I didn't want to do that. We just didn't want to come back, but here we are back in reality and it is Monday, boo.

This weekend, my parents and siblings are coming to visit, they live several hours away. I am excited to see them and they are taking me and my bf out to lunch for our birthdays. I feel sort of guilty because since the BM is not letting my bf see the children, I am happy we will be able to go to lunch and spend the day with my family without having to worry about if BM is taking them or to get a babysitter for the day. Last night after returning we did put together a text message and sent it to the BM saying about being back and wanting to pick the girls up this morning as was pre-arranged beforehand, how the law enforcement investigation was closed (deemed bruising from falling at the playground) and again saying again about the CPS worker lifting the hold on him seeing the children. Got a response this morning from BM how the investigation is 30 days, she will not let him see them due to what the children have said about him, and they can discuss it further later. My bf showed me the text and I read it, but we didn't discuss it as it is my birthday today and he did not want to ruin my day with this all.

I did text him about an hour ago telling him, while I did not want to talk about it today, I would have no problem with him following up with his lawyer and responding to BM requesting to talk to the kids every day then while he is not allowed to see them and also requesting the information on who is watching the children while she is working. He was appreciative and I know he was doing some of these things, but I will get that info tomorrow about updates, etc. I know my bf is furious that we still don't have the date of the 21 days being up from his lawyer. Apparently the sheriff's office did not update the clerk's office with the date of delivery so now that had to be tracked down. It has now been almost a week that we are waiting for this answer and if it was not up last week, then it is definitely up this week and my bf wants movement.

One thing is for sure BM will not be allowing bf to see the children without a judge telling her to do so whether it is from the judge making a default judgement in lieu of her non response or if my bf ends up filing for a petit lite hearing. So I am trying not to think about it today, because it is my day, but being back, can't help having it on the brain. 

Again, if your comment to my post is going to discuss spanking, whether it be your opinion on spanking or anything critiquing his parenting regarding spanking, etc. I will just delete your comment becuase that is not what this post is about.


futurobrillante99's picture

Pendente lite hearing?

Happy birthday!! Have a wonderful day.


futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Yes, it would then put a temporary custody order in place for the children and not allow the BM to withold the children from him. Would be in place until everything is offical done. The problem with this according to his lawyer is it could stir the pot about him not being the oldest's father or if it does not go in my bf's favor could impact the final decision. However, not having one risks the judge then quoting the status quo is with BM even though for the past 1.5 years he has had them majority of the time. 

Livingoutloud's picture

He is her father on a birth certificate. Would judge care that he isn’t bio father? By this logic adoptive parents shouldn’t have rights. Insane 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

when he told me what the first lawyer told me, about the BM could possibly strip him of being her legal father I thought it was ludicrious since he is on the birth certificate. However, now that the second lawyer is bringing it up as a concern, I see the potential of it having merit. I think it is crazy too.

Livingoutloud's picture

No judge would take away his parental rights unless your BF deemed to be unfit parent. Such things don’t take place. Lawyers say all kind of things. More scared clients are, more they will have to pay. 

Winterglow's picture

I can't see a judge deliberately depriving a child of one of their parents unless that parent was totally incapable of raising them... and even then.