Apologies to those
that I was yelling at earlier that commented on my blog, especially since many of the users are once that have given me great advice, been supportive, etc. I lost my cool because it was being insinuated that I was trying to control my bf by telling him that he should not go to an event to support his SD. Sometimes on here I get frustrated because users think I am reading too much into a situation or letting BM take up too much space in my head or that I just am misplacing blame on BM. Those who know about the BM in my situation know how awful and cruel she is. Any time bf or I gave BM the benefit of the doubt or reflect wondering if we jumped to conclusions about BM, 4 out of 5 times we find out that we shouldn't of given her the benefit of the doubt because it is ALWAYS petty games with her. ALWAYS.
I understand where people are coming from about you should love your kids more than you hate your ex. On other divorce situations, I do agree actually. If there wasn't this whole BM's other child situation, then I would be encouraging bf to go to such events to support SD. However, for how raw things still are, the games BM is still playing, it only being a year, SD only being 4, etc. right now I think bf deserves a pass for another year before being okay with running into BM's older child at an event. Unfotunately, SD is way more used to BM and bf being at nothing together, being together, etc. that at 4, I don't think she is thinking anything of it unless BM points out to SD that her dad is not there. If BM does this, then that is just cruel.
So I am sorry for losing my temper earlier and yelling when I should not have. I do not wish that anyone would know what this situation feels like, but I do wish people would be a little more understanding and empathetic towards what bf is/has gone through. Plus of course people understanding that 1. I am not trying to control bf in any way, 2. BM is NEVER up to any good, maybe that will change down the line, but she is still being selfish and vindictive, 3. The less contact with BM is better for everyone right now, even SD because the tension, drama, etc. is not good for a 4 year old either.