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Another update

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

sorry I am being a blog hog today, but just got off the phone with my bf after he spoke to his attorney. Apparently, there is nothing he needs to sign, he does not get any paperwork or anything of the older child no longer being bound to him. Only reason he would have receive any of this is if he brought it to court to remove his name from the birth certificate. Which my bf is not going to pay for the removal of his name that is going to be on BM. Which I am curious about whether or not she will, but I think she probably will remove his name off of it. 

Apparently after my bf left yesterday BM and her lawyer asked if my bf would take the younger child to her dance class at 5:30 on Fridays since his time starts at 3:00 every other Friday. At the same time the older child has dance class there too. My bf said no it is my time and it is only every other Friday and he is not going to go play happy family or anything with BM. Especially, for something she committed time to without asking or telling him about it. Meanwhile to prove how much she was trying to mess with my bf's head, BM never told my bf that the younger child was in dance class, but last month she told him that the older child that isn't his is and sent photos of the older child in dance class. Plus it feels like BM is just trying to give more ways to make my bf look like a bad parent because of this.

Also, he won't get his copy of the temporary custody order until about Friday, the judge had to leave right after the hearing so it has to be typed up and signed off by him still. Hopefully in the next day or two he can secure a new attorney and figure out what route he is going to take. This sometimes feels like it is never ending!!

Comments

lieutenant_dad's picture

I'd spend the money to get his name off the BC. If he doesn't, and he stays, I'd be worried that would supersede the court order saying he isn't dad. He shouldn't HAVE to remove himself, but it would be WISE for him to.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

from reputable sources said the judge would order the name removed from the birth certificate. So I don't know if his attorney is just not familiar with what happens when it is determined he was not her father or what, but EVERYTHING I read said that once the person was proven not to be the dad, then it had to be removed. 

 

Siemprematahari's picture

I'm glad a good portion of this is over with. Now that things have been established you both can work on moving forward, minimizing the BS with BM, and your BF spending time with his daughter. He can't leave any room to entertain this bat sh!t crazy woman and he has to treat her accordingly. It's a shame all the lies and manipulation this woman put him and the kids through. I wonder how their mental health will be when they are older. She truly is a nightmare and hope this is all behind you both ASAP for good.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I am glad the drama is over with the older child for sure that is a relief for sure! 

Oh it is already been shown the older child has mental health issues. Apparently when my bf went today to remove them from day care, the director told him the workers messed up by not talking to him but they were going to call FAP and recommend the child gets mental health help because of things she draws and says about blood, death, etc. but no one ever talked to him or called.

I had told my bf a few months ago when the real possibility of her being taken away came to light was that I did not want him to go back to court and try and fight for rights to her. I think there is something not right with her mental health and there is a strong possibility it could be inherited from her biological dad, but without BM owning up to knowing who that is or taking any responsibility, probably would never know. Plus with the false allegation the child made about the golden spoon and then the counselor saying she shows sign of sexual abuse, I KNEW it was not something we should be struggling with or very possibly have accusations put on us. The child NEEDS help, but I don't think it is my bf or my responsibility to get her that help, that is all her mothers. I probably sound terrible saying all that, but I didn't want the child that is not his taking away from us, his current child, and our future children. I do hope she gets the help she needs and BM does not continue to fuck with her head, I truly truly do.

justmakingthebest's picture

My heart just breaks for you guys. Thankfully Jan. is right around the corner and hopefully your new attorney will get more visitation ordered, because you guys didn't even get the standard minimum. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I mean one issue down, feels like a million to go, but we are getting there!

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I accidentally deleted your comment Sad I was typing a response to you then wanted to change it and hit delete and didn't realize it deletes your comment! 

I agree! There are other dance classes and she should get over it!

ESMOD's picture

So.. to be clear.. your BF is not going to allow his daughter to attend her dance classes?  won't that look poor?  I mean.. he doesn't have to sit there with BM.. and I get she signed the girl up.. but the optics aren't great for him.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

he BARELY gets any time with her, so I do not think it is unreasonable for him to not take her to dance classes BM signed her up for on his time when he hardly gets any. 

At this point, I don't really think him taking her to dance class on his time when BM is there for a class she signed her up for is going to improve anything much for him. I really really dont.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I have been too irritated that to me BM had to audacity to ask about dance class when my bf will only have her 6 days a month and she has the whole rest of the month. Plus she never even told him or asked him or anything about it. 

There are 4 more days out of the week she could sign her up, good idea!

ESMOD's picture

She could.. but she isn't likely to.  So... it will be... "ooooohhh so sorry you will miss the class because your daddy is mean and won't bring you"

Ohhh judge.. he is such a bad dad.. he won't even take her to her dance class twice a month and support her passion.

sob, sob sob.. daddy.. I don't want to come over because you make me miss dance class and they won't let me in the recital because you are a meanie.

I'm not saying that a reasonable mother couldn't reschedule.. she won't.. she will use this like buckshot in a double barrel shotgun.

tog redux's picture

Yeah, but she's going to do that kind of crap until the child is 18.  They shouldn't get into the habit of dancing to her tune right now. The child is THREE. She will survive, and it's best that he learn to set boundaries early.