Any steppers out there who have managed to rarely, maybe once every six months or so, see their skids? Or who may see them every month, but for no longer than a couple of hours? 

I’m a mess of anxiety tonight because I have to be around SD13 for the third weekend in a row this weekend. I feel so uncomfortable around her. I am considering being “away” til she leaves. I also wonder if I should just ignore my anxiety and do what i always do when she is here...Just be myself. Normally her visits are EOW and I have acclimated quite well to the rhythm of that visit schedule. 

These idiot fathers and their psuedo parenting!

It drives me nuts. I don’t even want to witness it!

look at me, im a good dad. Im staring at a screen in the same room with my daughter who is also staring at a screen. 

Oh look at me, im a good dad. I am making my child food for breakfast. As long as she says please and thank you then ive done an A+ job! Nevermind that I have zero conversations with her about anything relevant to her life. I am smiling so everything is happy!

How many of you who had your skid around when they were younger, but now only have them EOW or just holidays, feel a tinge of sadness when you see how much the child continues to grow into a mini version of BM? 

I do. At least today I do. 

I’m not really talking about PAS. I’m talking about that potential to be a self-confident, creative individual being snuffed out by BM’s unending influence.

 I had a talk yesterday with DH about why it is so frustrating to hear him attempt to sell the idea of us to his oldest from his first marriage.  Sometimes I feel like he has the voice of an info commercial announcer as he remarks about DS and I.  It is like DS and I are the fruit of a very inconveniently planted tree in SS18’s life. And DH is trying to get SS18 to see how beautiful the leaves are. Painful to watch.