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FML's picture

I'm beaten down.... I don't understand why BM can continue to have child after child. She's a bad person and a bad mother. I'm experiencing my third miscarriage. I'm going thru the treatment and doing what I have to do. My child is a good student well behaved and compassionate. I am doing my best to raise her to be a good adult. I don't understand the reasoning. How these women who are raising entitled little shits can continue to reproduce the stupidity while people who can care for children the right way have so much trouble. I'm sorry I'm rambling. I'm having physical and emotional pain....I hurt.

Comments

Sunflower1's picture

I remember when I miscarried seeing all these women who where having babies-but it was no big deal to them. One of my employees was 21, super immature and still carried to term. Another women I know (don't consider her a friend), has had four kids, while drinking heavily throughout and smoking two packs a day. I remember thinking why god, why? ((Hugs)), I understand the hurt Sad

FML's picture

Thank you. I just .... can't figure out rhyme or reason for any of it. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I wish I could figure it out.

SM with BM from hell's picture

*hugs* I'm sorry you're going through this. You're right, it's not fair. I wish I had the right words to comfort you right now.

herewegoagain's picture

I am so very sorry you are going through this. Note that these crazy women don't have the stress that we as step moms do…simple as that. You must disengage and yes, I know, easier said than done…But it is incredibly unfair. Everytime I hear people talk about Karma or God's Will, it makes me sick to my stomach. I must have murdered somebody in my past life in order to have so much crap thrown at me from all of this step mess! ugh

tiny kitten's picture

Having never experienced a miscarriage, I can't claim to know exactly how you feel, but I'm sure it's terrible, and I empathise with you.
I cried last week because BM is a lazy, irresponsible mother, taking SD7 ice-skating instead of school, keeping her out of school for no reason, not doing homework. She's got two kids. Her second child (not SO's) is 1.5, and she had him to avoid having to work, and left the BF as soon as she was "out of the woods" for miscarriage. She doesn't deserve to have kids.
FSIL is almost in the third trimester of her second "accidental" pregnancy. I love FSIL, and she's a great mum, but it stung a little. And I cried when I got off the phone when she told us. (I am very happy for her now, and looking forward to meeting my baby nephew.)
My aunt treats her 19mo daughter like a fashion accessory.
It seems like everyone I know finds conceiving fairly easy. I'm finding it a little harder.

Your feelings are understandable, normal, and perfectly acceptable. I wish you luck <3

DoubleUteeEFF's picture

Though I have never experienced a miscarriage, I completely understand what you are saying.
It took a very very long time for DH and I to conceive and I was so heart broken everytime it didn't take because it seemed as if all these morons and irresponsible women were getting pregnant. Even BM got pregnant again which drove me nutts. It didn't happen until I just gave up and stopped trying.

I'm incredibly sorry you are going through this. Don't focus in on everyone else. Keep trying but enjoy it. It truly does happen when it's meant to be and it will be so amazing for you. I came here to steptalk all the time crying about this. I can't wait to hear in the future about a new healthy pregnancy. Lots and lots of hugs (:

Sweet T's picture

My fist was an ectopic that almost killed me.i struggled for a long time with that loss. Both mom and sister lost babies too,infact my all have miscarried on the same date....my parents anniversary. There are 19 years between my mom's and mine and 5 between my sister and i. Grieve your loss and do what you need to do to get through it. I promise it gets bettrr.