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I was reading the post about the dinner mints. .....

FML's picture

You know it's kind of strange. My FDH and I have to opposite problem. He "favors" my DD and I "favor" my SS (his son).

First of all to me, my daughter is older and I expect a lot more out of her. She has more stability and should act like it. I feel like SS is younger and hardly ever here. FDH works offshore. It is so hard to break bad habits in just a few days and sometimes FDH takes it overboard with his son. This has left me taking over discipline with SS.

With my daughter, my FDH seems to cut her more slack because she is so well behaved. He is able to have conversations and play with her more ( SS5 is developmentally delayed and has a hard time. I work with SPED children so this relates to me.) We find ourselves being harder on our children and being Disney with our step children. For some reason though... it works and it works well. If it was another way and not even I'm sure it would clash but for now it's good for us. We also believe that after the children leave.... we are going to be what's left. So we always put each other first.

So in the dinner mint situation, I would give the extra one to SS. FDH would give the last one to my DD. They both have someone going to bat for them. I got of on a tangent SORRY but just thinking......


red flags's picture

Thanks for sharing! I love hearing people post things that are working for them! I'm making a conscious effort to remain positive in my situation without being a doormat or getting over-invested in things I can't control. I know this site is a good place for people to vent, but it is also a place to share our strategies and our victories, large and small. It sounds like you and DH have a good thing going! Happy for you!

FML's picture

Thank you. I didn't want to hijack her post with talking about my situation. I know a lot of women are stuck in horrible situation s in which I would be chopping certain jewels off. I try really hard not to judge but just offer my point of view. I like your positivity and I like the fact that I can erase the negativity.