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Has anyone else been called by the ex-wife's name and how do you handle it?

floridagirlal's picture

This has happened multiple times now and I'm so tired of it. It's not my fiance that is calling me by EW's name. It's others....friends, etc. It's very uncomfortable for everyone when it happens. I don't know how I'm supposed to respond. When it happened last night, I just stood there and smiled like nothing was wrong but I was seething inside, of course. Anyone else have any ideas for how to handle it?

Comments

meneran's picture

Just respectfuly remind them like this:

' I DO NOT WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH THAT BITCH ' Smile

It happened only once to me, a friend called me her name. She hasnt made that mistake twice Smile

harleygirl's picture

This has happened serveral times usually when we are arguing. First time I ripped his head off and repeated my name a million times lol. After that I just stare at him with the look of death lol.

floridagirlal's picture

I don't think I could choke those words out when it happens. I get so frozen and paralyzed with this rush of emotion and adrenaline. I seem to be so worried about not offending the offender. At this point, I don't want to have to even see this guy again and he's building an addition on our house! I don't think I can be nice to him or even look him in the eye. If I do, I'll probably lose it.

honeychild's picture

I get called by the BM's name all the time. I honestly don't care. Growing up my mother never got our (my siblings and I) names right so I know it's nothing personal it also helps that when it happens, which most of the time it's by my SO's older family members and every once in a while his mom, they apologize profusely. Maybe that makes it easier but she was a part of the family for sixteen years or so and it happens... It all depends on when it's said and how the person who made the mistake feels.
Now my SO lets it slip normally if he has had to deal with her multiple times but he catches it before he finishes her name. Ive called him my ex's name and heck the kids get our names wrong all the time they call me mom and look so terrified and they call their dad their step dads name we just laugh it off. it happens to the best of us.

EyesOfaStranger's picture

Happened to me once. It hurts. I just ignored it.... Didn't want to hurt the "offenders" feelings, like another poster said. But what's WORSE than that is when someone has referred to MY child as the Ex's Childs "name" (u know DH's ex step child) my DH did it twice---INFURIATES ME!!! :jawdrop: And those times I told him how disgusted I wAs about that.. In a not so nice way. He couldn't even stand that kid, and he loves my kid.. But he calls mine that name?!?! Ewww

WickednNasty's picture

I deal with this daily. My Inlaws Parrot associates me with the x. Everyday when I walk in the house he starts repeating her name. Sometimes after a rough day I'll correct it. Pretty soon he'll start repeating what I say. My FIL laughs as I do it.

A true story though. We were recently at the Funeral Directors office. Who was familar with Dh and his X. He used her name when speaking to me and was quickly corrected by my Dh. This embarrassed everyone. Too take the pressure off him and lighten the load. My response to his appology was. It's ok the bird calls me by her name everyday. I just asked that he be 100% correct when he did my funeral. He laughed and said what a great lady. I'm still trying to figure out which one of us he was talking about.

Done WIth It's picture

Next time he does this, you look very concerned at him, slightly cock your head to the side, squint your eyes a tiny bit, and say loud enough for everyone to hear...."This would be funny if it weren't an indication of Alzeihmers Disease". Do not laugh, do not crack a smile. Just seriously look at him, ask what the date is, then document it in front of everyone.

Let's see how he likes calling you that name again.

Or.....you could say to him, "Why is it when you say that name you sound liked you're" (you pick the answer here)

1. Gagging
2. Throwing up on yourself

Or come back with:
That's code for him having stomach cramps and he needs to use the toilet.