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An interesting start to the year.

Floral_SM's picture

Well it's been an interesting start to the year. School is back (yay!) SS8 already tried to play games with his teacher. She is strict and young and saw right through them, and he apparently turned the day around. Last year he was suspended countless times from bad behaviour basically. Yesterday he asked the teacher to be sent to the office to be suspended after he refused to do the work she assigned the class. This was stemmed from him losing in a game in break. He is becoming quite the handful now. His behaviour is really starting to get on my nerves. He cannot lose! Any game we play, if he looks like he's not winning he mopes. Cracks a fruity if he actually loses and pretty much becomes a fun sponge. The game is not fun anymore because it's impossible to play with him. 

DH has decided to finish his study and taken a day off every week to go to classes. I'm super happy about this. He works 6 day straight and we have a baby. Plus when we get the kids every second week, I get a bit strained when they are here. Now he has that one day off, gives me a massive break. So we updated CS and uh oh that means BM gets squat. I think it's roughly $20 a month now. Hah! Victory dance happening down here at the moment. 

Toxic BM also enrolled SD8 into gymnastics which we only just found out about yesterday. She sent DH a ridiculous message pretty much saying it's not fair she's not doing an extracurricular sport when SS8 does. Ummm we have been waiting for her to pull her finger out and sort this out for 3 years now. SD is her little precious baby and god forbid if we organised ANYTHING for SD without her either knowing or not being involved. We got our heads bitten off for taking SD to a bloody hairdresser because her fringe was growing into her eyes. So to avoid conflict, stress, anxiety, strain on our marriage, DH doesn't organise anything for SD. Ever since we did this our lives have been so much better. SD is too much of an air head to even care and she *insert baby voice* 'wuves her mummy so much!'. Ughh. Anyway she also said we are short for cash so she's covering the cost of the classes and SS footy. I rolled my eyes at this. She doesn't pay for SS footy her father does. And BM is a mini wife to her dad so she would have been like 'Daddeeee blah blah I need your Dad bank' and he obviously is paying for it too. Because this BM NEVER pays for anything. It's all competition with her though, so she has to throw something in the message to put DH down and try and make herself look good. Toxic BM also wrote if he doesn't have the 'capacity' to take her she will come and collect SD herself and take her. Lol. DH and I just sipped our wines and he replied back with 'great work! Sounds great. Cheers' and we had a giggle. 

I am still not talking to my sister. I told her what I thought of her partner and she deserves better. She HATED hearing the truth. I wanted to see my nephew for his birthday but she said they apparently think I'm a biatch and not fussed to see me. Pretty much manipulated them to hate me, as they cannot understand why my DH and I can't stand her partner. A Disney Dad to Toxic daughter and BM who makes our lives miserable. Whatever, I'm sending my nephew a text with a birthday card in the mail. She can't stop my actions and they speak louder than her words. I can't believe how brainwashed she is. Her toxic partner is a real piece of work. I actually bumped into him with the skids in the back when I went out to lunch. SS rolled down the window to the car (I was pulling into a park) and yelled out to his grand pa. Do you know what the coward did? Immediately tried crossing the road and said a quick hi as he scurried away! He ignored his own grandchildren because I was there. Bloody coward! When this was told to my sister his excuse wad 'oh I was going to talk to them later when they were back in my daughters care'. Asshole. The skids were so confused why he didn't walk two steps to our car and say hello properly. 
Anyway fingers crossed my nephew receives his card and it doesn't get thrown away by my sister. She is talking to someone and I really hope she's getting the help she needs. 




1dad4kids's picture

I forgot about your dynamic. I didn't realize your sister was in that deep with BM's dad. Is your nephew his son too? (Like is BM your nephews half sister?) 


Floral_SM's picture

No her two boys are from a previous marriage, and their dad has 2 kids to his current fiancé. She RAGS on my nephews step mum (another conflict I face with her being a step mum myself). Her life is just so consumed with so much negativity and it all boils down to her making those choices. I really hope she wakes up. In the meantime I need to get on with my life and move on. She chooses to use me as her target, than sit and reflect on her life choices, so be it. She left her husband for this toxic man and gained his toxic children. Her ex husband moved on and met someone else and I think she really regrets what she's done.. 

JRI's picture

You sound like you are handling the whole family situation well.  You are doing what you can, disengaged from the rest.  Your DH's answer to the email was good.  When I read about some of these BMs on here, it actually makes me glad we had our late, departed BM.  Once the kids moved in, she seemed to lose interest and didn't interfere.  Of course, it was bad for the kids but it made my life easier.

Floral_SM's picture

Thanks JRI. Yep we pretty much do what we can. I try and disengage where I need to, but sometimes my emotions get the best of me. Having my own child has helped me focus on her though which is good. 
Yes that does sound the better of the evil. I'm glad your life was easier though. I feel in broken marriages it's the children that do suffer but it's out of our control as step parents. We have to get on with what we can control.