Vacation Plans for over 6 months.....
So we are going to the beach and we leave this week on Friday. We have had these plans forever..... So yesterday my ss's grandmother (the ex's mom) tells my husband that the ss doesn't want to come anymore because he will miss 4 games and 2 birthday parties. I am more than a little upset. I mean this is a family vacation. My sister and her husband and kids, my mom and dad, and then the five of us ss and sd included. Should I be upset or just let it go.....
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Make your plans stand
My husband was receiving phone calls ironically every weekend visitation, on the phone would be his 10 year old son, my ss, asking to be able to stay with mom so that he could "Go and play with the kid next door" In the words of my husband the best advice I can give you is what he gave his son directly and that was " Son, I already miss tucking you into bed every night, seeing you sleep in the middle of the night, waking up and knowing that my kids are safe because they are in my home, because we are going to be going thru visitations for the next 8 years you need to go ahead and get it in your head that I look forward to your visits, I plan accordingly knowing that I am going to spend some quality time with my kids, you and your friend can see each other 24/7 while you are with your mother, however I am letting you know now I will never relent to seeing my son, and therefore I will expect you to be at my home on my visitation whether you like it or not. You know my visitation schedule for the next 8 years, if you and your mother cannot look at a calendar and plan your other events with her then we have a more serious problem"
And that is what he said, and ironically again, after that statement the phone calls stopped asking if he could stay with mom.....hmmmmmmmmmm
Keep your plans, make your step son go willingly or unwillingly, how can you have memories together as a family if you're not going to be together as a family?
"Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait! Not me! You."
(Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey)
Who Wears the Pants--SS should be going on vacation with you!
Hi Flamin' Mama!
Looks like the advice you are getting is all coming the same way. Many of us have had our backs up against the wall with these idiotic issues, comments, temper tantrums, whatever you want to call leads in to trying to turn everyone else's life upside down. Stand your ground! Let your SS know that if he is going to continue to be part of his Dad's life, he'll adjust to the visitation schedule. It was planned well in advance, and he needs to learn that how life is! Adjust, like the rest of us have done. None of us wished for these twisted situations, but we had to make the best of them.
Good luck and hope your vacation turns out well.
Regards,
Sweetie