HELP!! I may have bitten off way more than I can chew!!
Hey everyone, let me first thank you for reading and for any help/advice you can offer. So Im 33, never been married and no bio-kids. I have been dating my gf for 4 years now and she has a 13 year old daughter. I must say that I have never been this frustrated in my life, the kid is ridiculous but Im starting to really understand that its all mommys fault, (or alt least I think it is). You be the judge..
So I have been a part of their lives for 4 years now and the childs rude, selfish, obnoxious behavior has never improved, not even a little. She is such a condescending smart ass to everyone. She stays wrapped up in some kind of drama or trouble at school all the time. The grandparents and aunt and uncles dont want anything to do with her. We have never been able to keep a baby sitter more than a few days before they've had enough. This has been a point of contention for me and gf since the beginning of our relationship, She has assured me that everything would improve with time, but im finding that to be completely untrue. I have never met a lazier human being in all my life. She has always stayed up as late as she wants to even though I have tried to set a bed time and a shower time. I have tried rewarding her for bathing when I say or going to bed when I say. She could care less. She doesnt bathe regularly even after having started her period about 4 months ago. (she gets pretty stinky after a few days). Gf doesnt make her to any chores at all, so she basically lives in the couch with an iphone in her hand. (I bought the phone and pay the phone bill but Im not allowed to take her phone away as punishment). As a matter of fact I can only be daddy when she needs new shoes or clothes, its ok for me to be daddy at christmas and on birthdays,and various other special occasions, but its not ok for me to be daddy in any other way shape or form.
If i tell her its shower time, she runs to mommy and mommy says "do whatever you want" if I tell her its bedtime and to turn the tv off and go to bed, i get shut down by mommy. Mommy and I dont have sex as often as either of us want to because we cant stay up later than the kid, and she will only do it once the kid is asleep. She lives like a princess, her mommy brings her everything she wants so that she never has to get off of her ass, meanwhile me and gf are steadily grinding to keep the house clean and laundry done and food on the table. I suggest that the kid should get up and help and gf says no. She says my mother was a slave driver for making me do chores and that she isnt going to raise her child to be any ones slave. I basically live in the bedroom now days because the kid discusts me, i cant even hear her voice without getting pissed off. Gf is so desperate for my attention that she doesnt spend any real quality time with the kid, she never tries to teach her any basic life skills, the proper way to converse with adults, how to earn attention instead of demand it. Gf, has steadily gone from a couple beers every other night to a full six pack or more EVERY night, and I know its because she cant even stand her own kid and the misery she brings. I have tried to sit and have conversations with the kid, I have tried to give gf ideas and methods but all she wants to do is jump right up my ass and let the kid do whatever she wants as long as it doesnt cost her any time with me. Is this a common story? Is this the new norm? SHOULD I FLEE TO THE SHADOWS?