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Well, it didn't take long for the Ostrich/X/Idiot to find number 5...!

fairyo's picture

Yeppy yes yippitty dooh dah! 

I've been a way for a relaxing break with my daughter, and very nice it has been too- but last night she said she was unsure if she should tell me what she had just seen on Facebook, and even I was surprised when she said he already had another 'victim.'

It would appear that this woman posted that she was in a relationship with my X! WTF??? We haven't even completed the sale on the house and she already thinks he is such a lovely man...

A mutual friend ( but no longer his friend) made a comment about quick work and got into an exchange with this woman- let's call her Sue. Sue asked if my friend was a friend of X's and my friend said she had thought so, Sue replied that she thought the X was such a lovely man and she didn't want to ruin any friendships he might have. She doesn't yet know he doesn't have any friends!! All his Facebook friends are friends or relatives of mine!!

My friend then messaged the X telling him what she thought of him, and received a message back saying he'd met Sue on a dating site, that he thought this woman was a bit crazy and he didn't consider himself in a relationship with her... bonkers.

Of course I felt pretty confused by the whole thing- at once vindicated in my decision to leave this sad soggy specimen of a man I will now call the Idiot, but also embarrassed by my being in a relationship with someone like that for so long.

Of course, he has now asked her to remove the posts as he realises that he has allowed his true colours to show and now wants to hide his tracks.

I have thought about messaging this woman to warn her but thought better of it. She'll find out soon enough that not only does he have no friends, but that his family are totally messed up too.

What a jerk! Dating sites?? Just weeks after telling me he wanted to be alone and find himself again.

Pfft... the house isn't yet sold and I still have to communicate with him about legal stuff and clearing the rest of what's left. Should I pretend I don't know about his shenanigans, or should I let rip?? I feel right now that he is completely beneath my contempt...

Comments

queensway's picture

Well I guess he found himself again, on a freaking dating site. LOL Double Douche Bag!

Do not ever warn a woman about him. Hopefully he will meet a total nut job on one of those dating site's that will make his life a living h3ll. Maybe a midnight stalker.

fairyo's picture

Nut-jobs will queue up I'm sure- it is nine years since he did any dating, he sure won't find another like me, and he's no catch except for his money... and I'm not sure he's got  too much of that. I hope he meets lots of nut-jobs and they make him even more miserable even I mamaged to do.

hereiam's picture

Let rip about what? Your relationship with him is over, you are moving on, and he is free to move on, however he sees fit. Don't give him the satisfaction of thinking that you care.

Warning another woman about him is futile. She will just think you are jealous.

 

fairyo's picture

I wasn't serious about warning her- and of course he is free to be with whoever he likes, as long as it isn't paraded in front of my dearest and dearest on social media... that was the issue, as if he had something to prove, not me.

Disneyfan's picture

If your friends and family would delete him from their pages, they won't have to see or worry about tattling about what (or who) he is doing.

The marriage is over.  Neither one of you should have to hide what you're doing.

fairyo's picture

The new appliance would seem to be older than me though, although it may creak a bit it could still perform well until the batteries run out...Heaven knows what his kids will think when she turns up- maybe they will say, 'Hello number 5 shall we tell you all about the other four?'

How stupid I feel that I fell for it!

notsobad's picture

Let it go. Do not let him Hoover you back in! Be grateful that he is someone else problem, feel bad for her.

 

Kes's picture

OMG fairyo, I had to laugh when I read this!!  Let them all make fools of themselves on social media, only a narcissist has to get their approbation that way.   He is nothing to do with you any more.  I hope the house sells soon then there will be really no more need to have any communication with this loser.  

lieutenant_dad's picture

Oh man, does this sound familiar!

My XH couldn't handle that I left. For at least 6 months, he texted, called, showed up where I was living, etc. Even after I started dating DH, it didn't stop. I will admit that I think it hurt him that I started dating immediately after we split (probably not smart, but I had some physical needs and had been miserable for so long that I was just HAPPY to have freedom again), but he said before we split that he felt trapped by marriage and wish he had dated more, so...

Anyway, during this time, he didn't want anyone to know we split. I didn't change my name, didn't change my status on Facebook, didn't mention anything to his family, nothing. My close family and friends knew, but I was trying to be nice.

Then the phone calls stopped. Cool, finally. Then, friends started deleting me from Facebook. Cool again, they were his friends anyway. Then his GF (now DW) posted a picture of them on Facebook.

OH MAN. I lost my mind on him! He wanted, for 6 MONTHS, not to say anything. All of a sudden, I was getting messages from family and friends on Facebook asking WTF. I told him that giving me a heads up would have been nice since I did as he asked. He hung up on me.

Oh well. His "I want to date" turned in to marrying the first girl he dated. His comments about me being too fat to find attractive resulted in his new wife putting on CONSIDERABLE weight since they got married, being bigger than me now; he also put on a TON (think 50+ lbs) of weight. His wanting to live out west near family (he constantly talked about how he hated Anti-Canada and couldn't wait to move) has resulted in him buying a house with DW in Anti-Canada. That job he hated while we were married? Yep, he left and went back.

My XH "hates" all these things but is too lazy to do anything about it. I feel like your XH is much the same. He wants things to be a certain way, but he won't do anything to make it happen. He wants a doll to play with instead of a wife/partner (I used to refer to myself as the doll on a shelf - brought down to play with, but then put away when a new toy/activity came along). It hurts when you see them move on because you think "why couldn't you care enough to KEEP ME". You eventually realize that you don't want HIM as he is, you want the IDEA that he represents.

It's sad, really. I wish my XH no ill will, but I definitely question what goes on in his brain. Well, I used to; I don't care anymore.