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Oh good Lord!

Fade to black's picture

So I havent seen or talked to sd16 in 5 months, not since she lied all over town about how she cant live with me, Im horrible and mean,etc, so she could move 250 miles away to live with bm (who is not yet divorced from her dh) and bm's new internet boytoy. No matter that I was in her life since she was 18 months old, treated her like my own, opened my family to her. Apparently treating her like my own was good as long as it was buying gifts, organizing bday parties, Christmas, running her and her friends around ad nauseum.
So,today Dh and Bs11 went out of town to a football game. When they got back dh phone rang and he talked for a moment, then informed me sd was in town wanting to take,the boys (bs11 and bs5) to a frozen yogurt joint. I said no because evidently she just got her license, and also when she was learning to drive dh let her drive my car which she wrecked, and put a dent in her grandfather's truck. So he said he would drive. Ok cool. Then I said, "she isn't coming over to stay, is she?" To which he replied "well yeah, she is almost here "

So she can say how horrible I am, how she hates living here etc, but its ok to drop by for an unexpected visit and take my boys out and come stay with us like all is good? The same boys you complained about that they had no chores and did nothing while you as Cinderella did everything?

So dh got pissy that i said she was still not allowed in the house, the house she told everyone was so bad. I said take her out to dinner or whatever but she doesn t need to be in here. Plus, our house is gutted because of Harvey and there is seriously no room. My boys sleep on couches my sister gave us. Dh and i sleep on a full size foam mattress. We have one working bathroom.

So after the frozen yogurt thing, they stopped by to say she needed to cash her check at walmart and she would buy ds5 a toy (ds11 didnt want to go to yogurt joint or walmart) I feel she is sucking up because its almost Christmas and she wants to get back in everyones good graces.

Yeah eff that. You cant tell everyone how horrible you have been treated then expect me to invite you back into my (gutted) home. Just no.

We will see what happens when they return. Apparently dh has forgotten how hurt I was when she pulled her $hit, all water under the bridge now I guess.

Comments

Cara1128's picture

There is just speechlessness right now.
Sounds like ds11 feels the same way you do.
Do not let her in the house.if dh wants her to stay you put your children in the car and book a hotel room (i know i know maybe unaffordable-lg motel rooms are55+tax).
You deserve to sleep on a nice bed at least.
However your SD is old enough to have a conversation with you alone(inside your gutted house...)about her actions and how they affected you.(senda the Hubs out with the kids. You can take care of this brat yourself like you have done for may years.

Maxwell09's picture

You should have welcomed her inside your gutted house then right before she goes to leave with DH to take the kids for yogurt said, “oh SD, just so we are all on the same page (purposely glacé at your DH) I just wanted to let you know you can’t stay over here tonight or in the future. DH can put you up in a hotel or have you stay with his family but since you told everyone I abuse you and stuff, we stay together...unless you tell them it’s not true. I don’t want to be arrested or anything or have any one worrying about you while you’re visiting.”

Be upfront with her now that you’ve neither forgotten nor forgiven her for her lies so when it’s christmas time she can’t really play the victim “see I told you she hates me, she didn’t get me anything for Christmas” crap.

Fade to black's picture

So dh came back last night without sd. I dont know where she stayed, and I didnt ask. Dh said nothing about it, and still hasnt today either. But you are right, we are gonna have to have a conversation with sd, looks like sooner rather than later.

Thank you for your advice and thoughts, they are truly appreciated!