Umm...How do I put this nicely? HELL NO!
SS's BM has told my SO that SS can stay the ENTIRE FREAKING SUMMER with us. He's only given 3 weeks in the court order. That's plenty!!! So, my SO TOLD ME, that he would like to have SS all summer. I told him SS would definitely enjoy getting to go to "work" with his Dad everyday. Well, of course that's NOT what he has in mind at all. I'm expected to watch SS all week long and then go to my job for the entire weekend straight. I don't think so.
He tried to tell me he's constantly doing things for ME wrt MY KIDS. Umm well, if ya count the 10mins in the morning he watches my son and our son while I run my daughter to school. That's seriously IT! He doesn't contribute cash or time to our household. Ill be DAMNED if I take care of his kid without ANY HELP. I already do that with our child together. Not happening with the "new" kid. Sorry!
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Last time I heard anything
Last time I heard anything about her (Christmas) she wasn't working... frankly I don't think she's ever even had a job.
grrrrrr, I hate it when SO's
grrrrrr, I hate it when SO's do those arrangements.Since you are he one who has to watch him you may want to tell him upfront that you are happy to do xxx weeks (put in the no of how long you are happy with) but, hell-o-kitty- not 6 weeks.
So is he going to keep the
So is he going to keep the cs? If bm doesnt agree to that I would tell him fuck no to paying her and keeping the kid.
I so agree with this. I can
I so agree with this.
I can agree with this even from a birth mom perspective.... when my ex married his mistress briefly (it lasted less than 6 months), my kids were court ordered to visit their Dad for three weeks, which meant also visiting his new wife. Of course they were uncomfortable, as they really had never been given a chance to get to know her..... but if I had found out that he was leaving all day and leaving them home with a woman they barely knew and were not comfortable with, I would've intervened. I am the custodial parent, and he has rights as their parent to visitation, but if they aren't in his care, I get input on who is the babysitter, and I have to know something about background, training, and experience for anyone who cared for my kids when they were little.
His kids are coming to visit their dad, not his wife..... if they are able to have a decent relationship with you, it's always good for kids to have one more supporting adult in their life, but he needs to take time off and be with his kids when they are there, and if he can't take off the entire summer, he needs to make arrangements for them to be in summer programs that they enjoy. This is the kind of situation that causes kids to resent their parents spouses... when a situation is forced on both parties. If the wife is not comfortable, the children will notice that.... but they may read the cues wrong, and think the wife dislikes them rather than is simply not comfortable. If the kids don't like being "stuck" with their parent's spouse, they will act out.
Stand your ground! Don't be forced into a situation that will only cause trouble.
Tell him he needs to find a
Tell him he needs to find a sitter or hire you a maid.
This is nuts! I always try
This is nuts! I always try to turn things around in kind of a "what would I do in this situation" way and I can honestly say that if I had a child who did NOT belong to my partner, I would NEVER just EXPECT my partner to be responsible for the care of that child (beyond maybe an hour or two here and there)
My DH has this syndrome where I think he feels like a better "dad" if skids are simply at our house. Now, DH will spend 96% of the day sleeping or doing his own thing, skids will spend 96% of their day in their room and they will meet for that remainder 4% to eat or so skids can ask for something. I always wonder what the hell the point is? If skids are going to come, woudln't you want to spend time with them? Not pawn them off on someone else.. what the hell is the point of that?
Ommy...you bring up a good
Ommy...you bring up a good point about cs. BM shouldn't get to pawn her spawn off AND get paid for it. OP...does your SO work? You said he doesn't contribute.